..a chrismas song..

weird pero eto ang christmas song q.,labo noh.,maybe this explains how i feel at this very moment...with emphasis on some lines

Softly we tremble tonight,
picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight,
I said I'd never leave you'll never change
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life.

Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
You said, you said that you would die for me...

We made plans to grow old,
believe me there was truth in all those stories that I told.
Lost in a simple game cat and mouse are we the same people as before this came to light?

Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
You said, you said that you would die for me...

You must live for me too'...
For me too...yeah, yeah...
You said that you would die for me...

Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price
You said, you said that you would die for me...

..my labidabs..

wahaha..d ko maiwasang kiligin..sa tagal na walang kakilig kilig tlga na naganap,ngyon na lng ulit...khit na resibo lng un tlgang kinikilig aq..ewan q ba..hehe..iniisip mo kaya aq?aq kse lagi ktang iniisip.haha..cheesy..anyways..cge, ndi na q mshado kakain..para sayo.hehe..kso kse ndi ko maiwasan tlga eh, lalo na pag gutom aq..hehe..

shet, kinikilig tlga ko sayo mulong!!!!

at wag mo silang pansinin kung inaasar ka ke kristian..kaw nmn orig..haha..

..no one is alone the way i am alone..

hurt...that would be the best word to describe me right now...i don't know why i'm hurting right now. i feel that suddenly, after all the sweet moments and everything, i am alone...alone...

i have to let go, even though my heart tells me no..i don't want to hurt other people, and i don't want to be in a dead end.


i know i should have ended this a long time ago. and now, it's harder to go...to let go the wonderful feeling that i feel for him, to let go the sweet memories that made each and everyday a special one. i am stuck. i don't know how to go. i don't know how to start. all i know is that i am confused what should i follow. i don't know if i have to go even though i have to.

i don't know what fate holds. what will happen tomorrow? would everything be the same or would you start to let go too. i know we have to coz this is not right. but how could this be wrong when everything seems right?

i know that i'm stubborn. you can't blame me. i'm blind and numb. i have no reasons at this time.
i'm hurt. i'm hurt while watching you go. i'm hurt because of the love that you gave me. i'm hurt because of you

and now i'm alone in my bed. waiting for something nice to happen. alone in this world that we made together. you suddenly left our world...the world that we own...the world where there's only you and me.

no one is alone the way i am alone...

sa init ng ulan

sa init ng ulan, ako'y nanlalamig...

para sayo toh.,

even angels cry

Even Angels Cry

Written by M.R. Dy | Recorded at Zzubu and Phoenix Glide | Mixed by I.J. Alesna

Why do I feel that goodbye is the only constant thing between us?
Sometimes I think the only reason you came into my life was to go away
Half a bottle of wine and an empty glass is all you left me
How could a fire die so fast? Now embers are all I see

And they say
Even the angel cries on a lonely flight back home
Even the devil cries, walking down that road alone
Why be so surprised when tears come fill my eyes?
I’m just a man

When even angels cry

Even angels cry

Haven’t gotten used to the idea that you were never meant to be mine
I wish you told me if I was closing in or stepping out of line
Seems like history does have its own secret ways of reappearing
So now the storm has come and gone, the wind just had to stop its singing

And it sang
Even the angel cries on a lonely flight back home
Even the devil cries, walking down that road alone
Why be so surprised when tears come fill my eyes?
I’m just a man

When even angels cry
Even angels cry

Even angels cry
Pain just follows everywhere you go
From the greatest of the kings to the lowest of the low
We can’t be that much different
You should know

Even the angels cries on a lonely flight back home
Even the devil cries, walking down that road alone
Why be so surprised when tears come fill my eyes?
I’m just a man

When even angels cry
Even angels cry

Even angels cry

this bleeding heart won't stop crying...

it's late, and i'm still awake. just thinking of so many stuff in my head. i hate to think about them but i can't stop it. i'm actually tired of convincing myself of "what is" (the reality). i try to convince myself then afterwards i go back to my dreamland. it's a routine..it tires me. i can't wake up. i said that when i was really in love with him. i can't stop, not now. but this dream is so complicated and i can't stand it anymore. you're already hurting me. you may be unaware but you're hurting me so much. you're so insensitive.

i cry all night because of you, because of your insensitive personality. i want you to go away so that this bleeding heart would stop crying. i love you but i guess you don't love me (even though you said it few times) i want to rest but how can i if you won't stop bothering me. you won't go away.

i don't know what i want right now. i just want to stop crying. i want my heart to stop bleeding. it hurts so much, i can't take it anymore. i am in love with you

i guess this is how it should be. me being broken and you very happy. i want to tell you that you're so selfish. you only think about yourself. you even don't consider what others would feel. you just want to be happy. you want everything about you to be secured (even at the expense of others)

i don't know what else to do. i want you to be out of my life, but i also don't want to. confused...that's what i am right now. i want to rest. i want to be peaceful. i want to be happy. you're so selfish that you don't want to give me that happiness. i don't want your love (for me to be happy)...i just want you to stop bothering me or giving me false hopes. for now, i don't know what you really feel, what you really want. i even don't know if you care.

i suddenly don't know you. i want to be angry but i can't. my love for you dominate my emotions and reason. i can't think clearly because of that love that i have for you. still, you refuse to recognize that. you refuse to open your eyes for the reality between us..around us.

i know we can't be together. the least we can do is to be sensitive, to think about the other (our feelings). please stop being selfish and let me go if you can't really catch me. we need to get out of this complication. we need to get out of this situation. we don't grow anymore. we're stuck in this stupid area and it hurts so much to be aware of this but i can't do anything. i want to be with you but i also want to go. i want to have a life without you. far from your shadows. far from your love (as what you call it).

i want to end this whatever relationship we have. it's complicated and i want to get out. please let me go. i'm begging you. if you can't decide, i'll do it. i'll do it as soon as possible. you won't see me bothering you either. i won't get in the way. i'll go. i have to go. it's for the best. it's for us.

i wish you happiness with her.

i will be happy for you.

i love you, goodbye...

maybe it's time for me to open my eyes

from celine's multiply account..thanks celine..

Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one.

The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend", one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn't want to be anything at all. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change...

We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us.

We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us.. again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if...".

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us.

When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her... he didn't mean it.=(

This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with...

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, I'm just not ready." or maybe, "You're just not the one for me." (Then maybe later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so."
The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

We knew that we deserved better the entire time.. that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us when ever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted to be loved like that...

Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.

Here's for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart ... again.

This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.
Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.
This is for those confusing days, when you miss him,and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.

Stay strong.

.. and remember that relationships are like broken glass.Sometimes, it's better to leave it broken rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.
Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.
When your song comes on the radio, turn the station off.
When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.
When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door.

Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was...

Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to..

One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.
It's gonna hurt like hell, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is,
it will heal...

pinkishly pink

oh well, bkt ba pag pink e ikaw ang naiisip or naaassociate ko?.haha..weird noh.,o well.,cguro kse natutuwa aq sayo lalo na kung nakapink ka..bigla kong naappreciate ang lalaking nakapink dahil sayo..cguro kse nagulat lng aq nung unang beses na nakita kitang magsuot ng damit na pink.,minsan lng kse mangyari un at sobrang tuwang tuwa aq sayo..swear.,parang kanina, nakapink ka ulit.,hehe..

kht na wala tayong mashadong time na magkasama, kanina halos huminto ang mundo ko nung nagktinginan tayo..minsan lng din mangyari un..ewan ko ba, cguro dahil may something sa mga mata mo (muta??.haha.,joke lng)..basta may something sa mata mo eh..ndi ko maexplain..cguro kse me nakikita aqng mystery sa mga mata mo..ndi kse nagsasabi ng totoo, or iba ang ipinapakita nila..ndi ko tuloy alam kung ano ba tlga nararamdaman mo or kmusta ka na..kse ndi nmn tayo naguusap, ni magtxt ndi natin magawa..nahihiya kse ako sayo, as in super nahihiya aq sayo..kaya pag may mga piling moments na nagkakaron tayo ng interaction, sobrang tntreasure ko sha...haha..

mahal nga ba kita?.muka naman..ang sayang tingnan ka lalo na pag mukang malalim iniisip mo..malamang ndi mo alam un kse ndi ka nmn skn tumitingin kaya ndi mo ko nahuhuli..haha..pero lagi kaya kitang tinitingnan..lalo na kanina..para ngang high school eh..haha..me kilig factor pa kanina.,weh..hehe..ang weird noh..pero ganon tlga nararamdaman ko eh..ganon ang nararamdaman ko para sayo..mahal nga siguro kita..kht alam kong hindi mo kayang suklian..matagal ko ng tinanggap un...

basta ikaw ang pinkishly pink ng buhay ko..

reason vs emotion

reason vs emotion...this is the dilemma that most of the teens face...what will they follow?is it the mind that tells no or is it the heart that tells why should you be bothered?.this is really a difficult thing to answer..but we have to face it..sooner or later, we have to make a decision..it is not all the time that we will be in this situation..but when we experience this, the decision that we will make will hurt us in one way or another.

all good things

All Good Things by Nelly Furtado

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

[Chorus:]
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

it's so sad things like this could happen...i love you, you love me, but then again we can't be together..sooner or later, we have to make another choice that could really change our lives..whatever that decision will be, let me tell you that i love you not because you're like someone else but i love you because you're you.i love you the way you are, the simple you, the real you.for now,i don't want to go though people will tell me that i'm stupid for making a decision like that. i can't go, not now...i don't want to go..you're the reason for my smiles even though you're also the reason for my cries.but everything's ok,everything will be alright..with you by my side..with you partially mine..with just you..i love you, now i'm sure.even though it's complicated.i know everything's complicated.whatever our decision will be,i know that it'll be the best for the two of us...i love you bie

a bum's life..

nov 30, 2007...walang pasok dhil holiday.,i slept almost all day...woke up at around 4pm when the person i was with the whole night woke me up to say that he's leaving...after non, nagcomputer na q.,net to the max..without actually eating any real meal..buti nagsurvive ako..haha.,i just ate eggnogs and drank mountain dew.,very healthy huh?.hehe..after that i ate nacho..puro chichirya..wala tlgang real food.,and now, it's already almost 11pm and i haven't eaten any heavy meal yet..tinatamad aqng lumabas ng bahay para kumain or bumili ng food..it's cold outside kaya mas gusto ko nalng na nsa ilalim aq ng quilt.,hehe.,

today, i was with the person i love almost the whole day..just being next to him is the greatest thing that can happen to me at this point of my life..do i love him?.ewan ko lng..basta what i feel is something special..i can't say na ngyon ko lng naramdaman toh..no it's not..i felt this feeling many times..i cried, i laughed, i loved..this time, it's the same feeling..i cried once, i laugh because of him, and i love him..his childish acts make me like him more..para tlga shang bata..hehe..without so much effort, he can make me smile..pero without his notice, napapaiyak nia rin aq..well, it's our fault..malabo kse eh..kya minsan pag nahihirapan na ko, i just cry..pero minsan ayokong icpin..ayoko muna magplano ng gagawin..ayokong lumayo at the same time ayokong mashadong lumapit..i know mali, pero kelangan ko tlga ng batok eh.,ewan ko ba..ndi ko rin maintindihan sarili ko..i want to hug him,khit payat sha..hehe.,i want to be with him..pero may constraints kse..kya hindi pwd..basta complicated..pero wala nmn akong magawa eh..ayokong gumawa ng move muna..matagal ko na kcng sinabi na lalayo aq.,kso lng ndi ko magawa..hai...

tanga ba ko??

hai.,ewan ko ba...eto na nmn ako, walang direksyon ang iniisip at pinapasok.,,tanga ba ko?.ndi, nagmamahal lng.,pero tanga pa rin, aminado ko.,ndi ko na rin kse alam kung ano ba tlga ang gagawin ko.,mashadong magulo.,,khit na para smin ay clear nmn.,clear nga ba?.oo mahal nmin ang isa't isa,pero dahil dito komplikado tuloy ang mundo nming 2.,pero mahal nga ba nia ko?.base sa sinabi niang scenario kagabi,oo,cguro...ewan,hindi ko tlga alam kung ano ung gagawin ko.,pero khit na magulo,masaya parin..khit na me iba akong iniisip,cge lng muna.,ayoko munang isipin ang problema,gusto ko lng isipin ung kming dalawa...parehas kming bata..sha,bata tlga,ako isip bata.,haha..ganun tlga.,bkt kse ndi pwdng kmi na lng?.gusto ko ung sabihin sa knya kagabi, "sana tayo na lng"..

hands down

ikaw lang ang nakatugtog nito sakin...and it hurts to remember those nights when you were partially mine..

your guardian angel

i was left hanging

the grey area that complicates it all

the area that complicates all things, that was the place i was in before. i got out from that area, got out from the complication. i can't lie, but i was hurt. i cried my pain out. i want to divert my pain, i want to divert my feelings. that area taught me something that i could not forget. no one can love two persons at the same time. one should choose. one should make a choice. there will always be someone that will be hurt because of the decision. one should forget how it feels. one should move on and let go of the feeling. is it a wonderful feeling if you will let go the feeling that makes things complicated? will you be happy to know that the complication is over? will you be relieved it's over? the complication is more complicated now, it hurts so much to be out of that area. i was hurt. i'm in pain till now. i was stabbed once more. i almost died because of the pain. this complication made me feel light before. this helped me forget the past pain that i felt. but this complication also became the reason for another pain. i never regret being in that area, i never regret feeling something for you, i never regret the day i got your number. i don't regret anything about us. it's part of me now, part of my past. you're my past now. i have to let go and move on. i have to let go another beautiful feeling that made each and every minute with you worthwhile. you have your own life now and i was suddenly left hanging in the air. i was suddenly left alone. i'm all alone now. i'm on my own again. alone. we made our choice. i was hurt because of what we chose. i can't do anything now, i don't want to go back to the grey area. we moved on from where we stood before. now, there are two separate people living their own lives that were once living together in a shared fantasy.

we made our choice. you chose to be in white. i chose to be in black. there's no grey now, only black and white

baby boy...baby girl

nung bata tayo, andali lng malaman ng tama at mali..basta wag kang mananakit ng ibang tao, wag kang kukuha ng hindi sayo, magsorry pag may nsaktan..pro ngyon ang hirap gawin ng mga un. ewan ko ba.,ang dali lng nmn.pero kse ngyon may kasamang ng emotions..mas nagiging komplikado ang lahat..may kasama ng puso...

nung bata tayo, gusto na nating maging matanda..kse parang iba ang mundo nila sa mundo natin at gusto natin na sumali sa mundo nila..kse parang nakakasawa na rin sa mundo natin...pero ngayon, gusto kong bumalik sa mundong dati'y parte ako..kse ang mundo pala na dati ay gusto kong mapuntahan ay sobrang komplikado..lahat ng bagay kelangan mong pagisipan ng mabuti..kelangan mong isipin ang ibang bagay..

kung iisipin natin, ang dali lang nmn ng mga batas ng buhay eh..ang simple simple..pero ewan ko rin ba kung bkit napakahirap nitong gawin..ang hirap din isipin kung tama ba o mali ang gagawin mo..kse konektado ang lahat ng bagay, kelangan mong isipin din ang iba.

songs

ayun..cge kumanta ka jan..bkt ka ba gnyan?.kgbi pa toh,kgabi pa ung mga kantang yan..kgbi pa sa dunkin donuts..sadya bang nananaja ang panahon?.grabe..at ang favorite kong kanta bgla mo pang ginitara..ni hindi ko man lng sinabi kse gusto ko tugtugin mo ng kusa..at ayun na nga, tinugtog mo nga..hai..ang hirap..ang hirap ng ganito..khit anong pilit ang gawin kong iwasan ka, tlgang hindi ka lumalayo..ayaw mong lumayo..

ti amo

mi odio appena... ed inoltre li odio che li odio per rendermi la caduta per voi e sembra che tutto è ora nella complicazione. odio il senso che dite a me che lo gradite e che mi ritenete qualcosa per. odio il senso che li curo odio il senso li manco odio il senso li cerco odio la tristezza che ritengo il everytime siamo diversi. odio il senso che siamo destra ora odio la complicazione che siamo poll. odio il fatto che amate qualcuno. odio il fatto che amo qualcuno altrimenti ma tutti i questi marca me li desiderano di più che ve l'disegnano realmente ho la scelta di comunicazione con voi, ma non posso farlo appena perché ti amo...

i just hate myself...and i also hate you. i hate you for making me fall for you and it seems that everything is now in complication. i hate the way you say to me that you like me and that you feel something for me. i hate the way i treat you. i hate the way i miss you. i hate the way i look for you. i hate the sadness that i feel everytime we're apart. i hate the way we are right now. i hate the complication that we're in. i hate the fact that you love somebody. i hate the fact that i love someone else. but all of these make me want you more. they draw me closer to you. i actually have the choice of not communicating with you, but i just can't do it because i love you...

..everything's complicated..

BOYS...THEY MAKE OUR LIVES COMPLICATED.,this is the only thing that's in my mind right now.,

ewan ko ba...bkt sobrang ang complicated ng life?.andami kong kalokohan..andami kong nasasaktan..ayoko nang mkasakit pa..

i was suddenly stabbed directly at my heart...

all of a sudden, nakafeel ako ng pain...so much pain that no one can imagine..sobrang sakit na biglang isang araw para kang sinakluban ng langit at lupa..bigla kang naiwan..bigla kang iniwan...

my life right now is really complicated..hindi ko na lam kung ano ba tlga ang nafeefeel ko..may mahal ba ko?.o ilusyon lng na may nararamdaman ako..nasasaktan na ko..mas masakit pa kesa sa tusok ng karayom at hiwa ng kuchilyo

ano na nga ba ngayon?.ndi ko rin masagot eh..magulo lht..masakit lahat..

lahat ng daan, feeling ko papunta sa isang sakit..iba iba nga lang ang level..nsa crossroad ako ngayon..pumipili ng tamang daan..khit na alam kong khit anong piliin ko e sakit din ang matatagpuan ko sa huli..si fish ba?o beb?o c labs?

bkt ba kse ako umasa eh..dpat ndi na lng..akala ko kse may magandang patutunguhan ang lahat..un pala wala..kala ko lamang ako dahil may tumutulong sakin..un pla balewala rin kung ayaw nia tlga..kse, may mahal na shang iba at hindi ko na pwdng baguhin pa un..mahirap magmahal ng taong may mahal ng iba...kse masakit at nakakapanghina..

minsan gusto ko na lng umiyak ng umiyak..minsan gusto ko na lng matulog buong araw para wala na kong maramdaman na sakit..kse ang sakit sakit na..

ndi ko na alam kung ano na nga ba tlga ngayon..ndi ko alam kung ano ba tong nararamdaman ko sainyo...bkt kse sabay sabay pa kayong dumating..at unti unting nwwla..unti unting iniiwan ako...mag-isa

..mixed feelings..

this is really weird.,i was hurt and still hurting..i never thought na i would be hurt so bad.,i never thought na mamahalin kita ng sobra para masaktan ng sobra.,ang linya ko pa dati:

mahal na mahal kita, kahit ang sakit sakit na

o well.,mahal na mahal kita, alam mo ba un.,pero bale wala rin nmn ang pagmamahal ko kung ayaw mong irecognize.,.oo dati pangarap ko tlga na maging wifey mo.,pero pangarap nga lang un eh.,,isang panaginip na khit kelan hindi mangyayari.,

past ka na ba na maituturing ko??

hindi ko rin alam.,.pero ngayon mukang handa na ko na magmove on.,ayoko na rin na isipin pang me magandang mangyayari satin..mukang sa panaginip nlng un mangyayari at hindi sa realidad.,.i have to let go a very wonderful feeling coz i think that's the right thing to do.,,mashado na kong nasasaktan..baka magsimula na naman akong malungkot.,ayokong umabot sa point na down na down na nmn aq.,ayoko nang mangyari un...

you mended my aching heart before and now you caused another pain...

vulnerable

Vulnerable

Vulnerable, that’s what I am now. I don’t want to hurt others’ feelings because of this vulnerability. I am vulnerable because of the pain; the pain that broke my heart, nearly killing me inside. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake that I made years before. I thought that I love you, but then, I suddenly realized that I am just vulnerable when you came into my life. But I have loved you as time went by. I learned to love you the way you are without thinking of the pain that I experienced. Your life suddenly changed because of me; and without your notice, my life drastically changed too because of you. I have felt so much pain when I was with you, with you by my side. The process that we went through before we became lovers was wrong, with both of us so vulnerable and hurting inside. We were both hurt of what we’ve been through.

And now, I don’t want to repeat the same mistake again. I don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings; I don’t want to have another person’s life to be wasted because of me. I don’t want to be haunted by guilt again. I don’t want to use other people to overcome the pain that I am experiencing right now. Yes, I am vulnerable once again and I don’t want to ask someone to catch me this time.

star

a poem for someone in the past

I’ve loved you in the most unexpected time

But our lines just don’t rhyme

And this was just the start of the strife

Fate is playing his game on us

He chose to get us Even if we can’t be together

I still loved you waiting for things to be better

You have your own life and I have mine

We just played our selfish game

We were just passing but the time was benign

Making our paths cross and everything’s not the same

I thought I would forget you

After that I would go back to my own life

But things aren’t right and time would not let me to

close but not enough

We were too near yet too far

Like a rose yet a star

We were given another chance

We played with it and started to dance

Then another trick was played by time

You found your love and I found mine

Things just don’t seem right

And I don’t know if I can still fight

I am tired of playing this game

Coz I know you don’t feel the same

missing you

god.,i really miss you...ang hirap tlga pag sembreak..di kita makita..di kita masulyapan..at..ndi kita masundan..hehe..stalker??siguro, ndi ko alam..pero ndi naman ako freaky noh tulad ng iba jan..basta ngayon, namimiss na kita ng sobra..lam mo ba un?,nangungulila??,hmmm..ewan..hehe.. gusto ko magpunta senio.,pero ano naman ang gagawin ko dun...malamang ndi ko sau sasabihin na andun ako...e pag ndi kita nakita, sayang lang effort ko noh...hai..ano bang meron ka at nagkakaganito ako sayo...marami nmn jang iba pero bakit ikaw?,kaw kse eh, bkt pa kse tyo nagusap..yan tuloy..ang hirap..ang hirap manghula sa nararamdaman mo..nahihirapan ako..minsan gusto ko sumuko..pero ang sabi ko nga pla non maghihintay ako..hihintayin kita...pero hanggang kelan nga ba un??.ewan..sa dulo ng walang hanggan.!.baduy!.shet..

my best sis!

dear best sis,
sobrang mamimiss kita, ayokong magpakasentimental pero hindi ko tlga mapigilan..ayoko lang ipakita sayo, ayokong umiyak sa harap mo..pero kung alam mo lang, sobrang nalulungkot ako sa thought na hindi na tayo magkasama next sem. ayan, tuloy tuloy na luha ko. hai, pero ganun tlga,.may mga bagay tlga na kelangan mangyari...sorry kung lately hindi mo ko maramdaman..una, dahil na rin sa acads..alam mo naman sobrang hell week ko ung last 2 weeks ng class..pangalwa, ayoko rin magsink in sakin ung mangyayari..pero may mga bagay tlga na hindi mapigilan, hindi maiwasan..kaya kahit na anong iwas ko na maisip at maramdaman, dumadating at dumadating tlga sha..parang ngayon...sobrang nagsink na sha sakin.
sobrang mamimiss tlga kita best sis!.kung alam mo lang kung gano ko nalulungkot ngayon..

sabi natin diba walang iiyak, pero pucha, hindi ko na mapigilan ung mga luha ko..kusa na silang lumalabas, ilang araw ko shang pinigilan, ilang araw ko silang tinago, pero hindi na nila kayang magtago pa...

pano na lang ako..pano na lang ako kung wala ka

Kung wala ka nang maintindihan
Kung wala ka nang makapitan
Kapit ka sa akin, kapit ka sa akin
Di kita bibitawan

wag mo nang damdamin kung wala ako sayong tabi
iiwan kong puso ko sa yo
at kung pakiramdam mo’y wala ka nang kakampi
isipin mo ako dahil puso’t isip ko’y nasa yong tabi

at baka bukas ngingiti ka sa wakas at sabay natin haharapin ang mundo

Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo
Kakayanin ko

Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka

sobrang mamimiss kita best sis ko!

san miguel octoberfest!

san miguel octoberfest!.oo,start na ang octoberfest.,at nagkaron ng celebration dito last night, october 13, sa SM baguio..haha.,tumugtog ang sugarfree!.at dahil early bird kmi, kasama kmi sa first 7 na pwd mameet ang sugarfree.,hehe..kaya ayun, nameet namin sila at me poster pa!.,haha..saya saya tlga..hehe..actually, first octoberfest ko un..hehe..corny!.ganun tlga.,haha..basta masaya sha...

kung hadlang man ako

kung hadlang man ako sa dalawang taong nagmamahalan, masaya akong lalayo para hayaan kayong dalawa na maging masaya...dahil kahit kelan, ndi ako magiging masaya kung maging tayo man pero iba naman tlga ang mahal mo...

lalayo ako, wag kayong magalala

affected

haha..affected?,cno nga ba ang affected?.ikaw o ako?.ikaw dhil feeling ko e nagreact ka.,o ako?dahil nagreact ako sa feeling kong reaction mo?.hindi un para sayo kung yun ang iniisip mo..ibang tao ang binabanggit ko dun,wag kang feeling..pero bka nmn concerned ka lng tlga..ok lng nmn.,concerned lang nmn pla eh..sana dati ka pa naging concerned sakin, e d sana natuwa tuwa pa ko dati..pero feeling ko lang naman na reaction mo un eh, hindi naman ako sure..pero kung reaction mo man un, ok lng din naman..pero affected ba ko?.oo, affected ako..khit anong deny pa ang gawin ko, affected ako..hindi ko rin alam kung bkit..pero affected ako...may dating ka pa rin sa buhay ko, shempre naman noh..ilang taon kitang minahal..take note,minahal..pero cguro nga nakamove on na ko dahil nagsawa na rin ako sa kakahintay sa tamang pagkakataon..nagsawa na rin siguro ako sa puro singit na pagkakataon..sa pakikipagkumpetensya sa taong mahal mo..sa pakikipaglaban sa kabila ng maling pakikipaglaban na hindi mo naman napapansin..mahirap magmahal ng tahimik, dadating din ang panahon na mapapagod ka,.mapapagod ka dahil pakiramdam mo hindi naman narerecognize ang effort mo..mas madalas masaktan..

oo, affected ako..affected pa rin ako sayo..hindi naman matatanggal un..pero hindi na tulad ng dati...salamat sa concern mo..naappreciate ko..

paalam mahal...

..palpitate..

Everyday I feel my heart palpitating. Maybe it’s because of the everyday dose of caffeine in my body. Caffeine makes my body alive during the hours that I needed to be awake…A dose of caffeine everyday makes my body wants some more, gradually being addicted to the taste of it, the effect of it. Even though I am uncomfortable with the feeling of palpitation, I can withstand it. It is because I managed to love the taste of coffee with chocolate. It is my only ally during these days, the days when I need to be awake till morning just to finish the things I need to finish. This caffeine is getting into my system, and I need it more and more each day.

I need you more and more each day. At the end of the day, I often think that this palpitation is due to somebody in my life. Maybe you’re my caffeine…

last week lang

last week lang, mga ganitong oras magkasama tayo. nakakamiss, nkakamiss ka.,masaya ako last week, sana nga hindi na lng natapos ang araw non,pero ganun tlga..natapos ang araw na kasama kita..

mixed nuts..

haha..nice title for the blog.,ewan..kse ndi ko rin maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko..bigla akong nalungkot, ksabay ng pagdilim ng kalangitan..naks.,wala lang..parang naguguluhan lht ng nararamdaman ko..huh?ano raw??basta ganun..hindi ko alam kung ano nafefeel ko ngyon..masaya ba o malungkot..siguro dala lang ng pinapakinggan ko..ang lungkot ng aura ko ngyon..ganun tlga..hindi ko rin alam..siguro dahil namimiss ko lang sha..namimiss ko na sha tlga..pero wala nmn akong magawa dahil hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang gagawin ko ngyon..ndi ko alam kung pano kmi magkikita..hala,iba na ata toh..mahal na mahal ko na sha..alam ko nmng bagong sakit na nmn toh eh..pero ndi ko rin nmn kse mapigilan na mahalin sha..kse sa bawat araw na lumilipas, nagkakaron ako ng dahilan para lalo shang mahalin..corny noh..pero ganun tlga nararamdaman ko ngyon..sobrang mahal na mahal ko sha..kso hindi ko alam kung pano na next sem..kasabay ba ng pagtatapos ng sem ay ang pagtatapos din ng ugnayan namin?,ewan..hindi ko rin alam..

mahal na mahal kita..

mahal na mahal kita..sobra..ikaw na lang ata lagi kong iniisip..ewan ko ba kung bkit ganito ang nararamdaman ko sayo..everyday mas nagkakaron ng dahilan ang pagmamahal ko sayo..d mo man ito alam..wala rin akong lakas ng loob na sabihin sayo..pero ganon pa man, gusto ko lang tlga isulat kung ano tlga ang nararamdaman ko ngayon..hindi ko rin maintindihan toh, basta ang alam ko masaya ako pag nakikita kita..pag anjan ka..pag naririnig kitang tumawa..pag nakikita kitang nakangiti..mahal na mahal kita..kung alam mo lang..at eto pa, cute mo pag naka pink ka na shirt..hehe..mas lalo akong natutuwa sayo pag nkikita kitang nakapink..kse bagay nmn sayo eh..mahal na mahal kita mulong..kung alam mo lang..magsesembreak na..ayaw ko sana na magsembreak kse mapuputol na rin ang ugnayan nating dalawa..walang kasiguraduhan na magiging magkaklase tayo ulit next sem..walang kasiguraduhan na mkikita kita next sem..kya khit na pagod na ko sa skul, ayoko pa ring magsembreak..kse hindi na kita makikita..mawawalan na ko ng dahilan para makasama ka..alam ko namang wala kang gusto sa kin eh..kse kung meron, sana nararamdaman ko..hindi nmn ako manhid eh..wala lang tlga akong nararamdaman..kaya todo gawa ako ng effort makasama ka lang..handa akong gawin ata lahat para sayo..sa ngyon, after ko manood ng sine, naisip ko na gusto ko na magpakasal..pero wala pa sa tamang panahon..at wala pang tao na handa akong pakasalan..sana ikaw un..pangarap kong makasama ka sa buhay ko..hanggang pangarap na lng ba ko??.mahal na mahal kita..kung alam mo lang

secondhand serenade

shet, simula nang sinabi mo toh sakin dinownload ko lahat ng songs nila at paulit-ulit kong pinapakinggan...nakakabaliw..nakakabaliw ang mga ginagawa ko..parang hindi ako..ang laking effort tlga.,khit hindi mo alam..pero ok lng..sabi ko nga, tahimik akong nagmamahal sayo..hindi mo man ramdam, minamahal kita...

pag may nagtatanong sakin kung tayo na raw, ang sagot ko lagi hindi..kse totoo naman..at kahit naman gusto kong maging tayo, wala naman ung magagawa kung ayaw mo..pero ako, naghihintay lang ng pagkakataon,dumating man o hindi...pero gusto kong sabihin sayo..mahal na mahal kita...khit hindi mo ko mahal...

jeepney ride

sa pag-iisip habang nakapila para makasakay ng jeep pauwi ng quezon hill sa baguio...

naisip ko lang na ang proseso ng pagsakay sa isang jeep ay parang buhay pag-ibig lang..minsan matagal kang naghihintay, minsan naman mahaba ang pila, minsan habang naghihintay ka ay umuulan, minsan umaaraw...

sa paghihintay na makasakay sa jeep, sasakit ang mga paa mo dahil sa pagtayo...at aasam-asamin mong makaupo pagdating ng jeep...masarap na pakiramdam pag nakaupo ka na dahil mahihimasmasan ang mga pagod mong paa...

minsan ang byahe ay matraffic, o kaya naman ay malubak, minsan naman ay dire-direcho lang..walang palya..

minsan komportable ka, minsan hindi...lalo na kung sa panahon ng tag-ulan. siksikan minsan, na mas gusto mo na lng bumaba

minsan naman sa pagtingin mo sa paligid, iba-ibang tao ang makikita mo..minsan may sabit pa..pilit sumakay kahit wala nang pwesto, para lang makasakay...

sa byahe mo sa jeep, dadating at dadating ang panahon na hihinto ito dahil dumating ka na sa paroroonan mo...minsan hindi mo napapansin andun ka na pla at kailangan mo nang bumaba...minsan nageenjoy ka pa sa pagsakay pero kelangan mo nang bumaba, hindi mo napansin dahil parang napakabilis ng oras...

lahat tayo may destinasyon, hindi nga lang natin alam kung saan...pagkahaba-haba man ng byahe, minsan kelangan mo tlgang bumaba...kelangang itigil..may mga dahilan dito

may mga jeepney ride na hindi kelangang huminto, pero kadalasan naman ay napapanahon na..hindi natin alam kung kelan tayo hihinto...kaya naman sa bawat jeepney ride natin ay pahalagahan natin ito, ienjoy, mahalin...dahil bawat pagsakay ay iba-iba...hindi mo na ulit mararanasan ang eksaktong naranasan mo sa isa...