Monday, December 24, 2007

..a chrismas song..

weird pero eto ang christmas song q.,labo noh.,maybe this explains how i feel at this very moment...with emphasis on some lines

Softly we tremble tonight,
picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight,
I said I'd never leave you'll never change
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life.

Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price
.
Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
You said, you said that you would die for me...

We made plans to grow old,
believe me there was truth in all those stories that I told.
Lost in a simple game cat and mouse are we the same people as before this came to light?

Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
You said, you said that you would die for me...

You must live for me too'...
For me too...yeah, yeah...
You said that you would die for me...

Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price
You said, you said that you would die for me...

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

..my labidabs..

wahaha..d ko maiwasang kiligin..sa tagal na walang kakilig kilig tlga na naganap,ngyon na lng ulit...khit na resibo lng un tlgang kinikilig aq..ewan q ba..hehe..iniisip mo kaya aq?aq kse lagi ktang iniisip.haha..cheesy..anyways..cge, ndi na q mshado kakain..para sayo.hehe..kso kse ndi ko maiwasan tlga eh, lalo na pag gutom aq..hehe..

shet, kinikilig tlga ko sayo mulong!!!!

at wag mo silang pansinin kung inaasar ka ke kristian..kaw nmn orig..haha..

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

..no one is alone the way i am alone..

hurt...that would be the best word to describe me right now...i don't know why i'm hurting right now. i feel that suddenly, after all the sweet moments and everything, i am alone...alone...

i have to let go, even though my heart tells me no..i don't want to hurt other people, and i don't want to be in a dead end.


i know i should have ended this a long time ago. and now, it's harder to go...to let go the wonderful feeling that i feel for him, to let go the sweet memories that made each and everyday a special one. i am stuck. i don't know how to go. i don't know how to start. all i know is that i am confused what should i follow. i don't know if i have to go even though i have to.

i don't know what fate holds. what will happen tomorrow? would everything be the same or would you start to let go too. i know we have to coz this is not right. but how could this be wrong when everything seems right?

i know that i'm stubborn. you can't blame me. i'm blind and numb. i have no reasons at this time.
i'm hurt. i'm hurt while watching you go. i'm hurt because of the love that you gave me. i'm hurt because of you

and now i'm alone in my bed. waiting for something nice to happen. alone in this world that we made together. you suddenly left our world...the world that we own...the world where there's only you and me.

no one is alone the way i am alone...

Sunday, December 16, 2007

sa init ng ulan




sa init ng ulan, ako'y nanlalamig...

para sayo toh.,

Saturday, December 15, 2007

even angels cry

Even Angels Cry

Written by M.R. Dy | Recorded at Zzubu and Phoenix Glide | Mixed by I.J. Alesna

Why do I feel that goodbye is the only constant thing between us?
Sometimes I think the only reason you came into my life was to go away
Half a bottle of wine and an empty glass is all you left me
How could a fire die so fast? Now embers are all I see

And they say
Even the angel cries on a lonely flight back home
Even the devil cries, walking down that road alone
Why be so surprised when tears come fill my eyes?
I’m just a man

When even angels cry

Even angels cry

Haven’t gotten used to the idea that you were never meant to be mine
I wish you told me if I was closing in or stepping out of line
Seems like history does have its own secret ways of reappearing
So now the storm has come and gone, the wind just had to stop its singing

And it sang
Even the angel cries on a lonely flight back home
Even the devil cries, walking down that road alone
Why be so surprised when tears come fill my eyes?
I’m just a man

When even angels cry
Even angels cry

Even angels cry
Pain just follows everywhere you go
From the greatest of the kings to the lowest of the low
We can’t be that much different
You should know

Even the angels cries on a lonely flight back home
Even the devil cries, walking down that road alone
Why be so surprised when tears come fill my eyes?
I’m just a man

When even angels cry
Even angels cry

Even angels cry


Sunday, December 9, 2007

this bleeding heart won't stop crying...

it's late, and i'm still awake. just thinking of so many stuff in my head. i hate to think about them but i can't stop it. i'm actually tired of convincing myself of "what is" (the reality). i try to convince myself then afterwards i go back to my dreamland. it's a routine..it tires me. i can't wake up. i said that when i was really in love with him. i can't stop, not now. but this dream is so complicated and i can't stand it anymore. you're already hurting me. you may be unaware but you're hurting me so much. you're so insensitive.

i cry all night because of you, because of your insensitive personality. i want you to go away so that this bleeding heart would stop crying. i love you but i guess you don't love me (even though you said it few times) i want to rest but how can i if you won't stop bothering me. you won't go away.

i don't know what i want right now. i just want to stop crying. i want my heart to stop bleeding. it hurts so much, i can't take it anymore. i am in love with you

i guess this is how it should be. me being broken and you very happy. i want to tell you that you're so selfish. you only think about yourself. you even don't consider what others would feel. you just want to be happy. you want everything about you to be secured (even at the expense of others)

i don't know what else to do. i want you to be out of my life, but i also don't want to. confused...that's what i am right now. i want to rest. i want to be peaceful. i want to be happy. you're so selfish that you don't want to give me that happiness. i don't want your love (for me to be happy)...i just want you to stop bothering me or giving me false hopes. for now, i don't know what you really feel, what you really want. i even don't know if you care.

i suddenly don't know you. i want to be angry but i can't. my love for you dominate my emotions and reason. i can't think clearly because of that love that i have for you. still, you refuse to recognize that. you refuse to open your eyes for the reality between us..around us.

i know we can't be together. the least we can do is to be sensitive, to think about the other (our feelings). please stop being selfish and let me go if you can't really catch me. we need to get out of this complication. we need to get out of this situation. we don't grow anymore. we're stuck in this stupid area and it hurts so much to be aware of this but i can't do anything. i want to be with you but i also want to go. i want to have a life without you. far from your shadows. far from your love (as what you call it).

i want to end this whatever relationship we have. it's complicated and i want to get out. please let me go. i'm begging you. if you can't decide, i'll do it. i'll do it as soon as possible. you won't see me bothering you either. i won't get in the way. i'll go. i have to go. it's for the best. it's for us.

i wish you happiness with her.

i will be happy for you.

i love you, goodbye...

maybe it's time for me to open my eyes

from celine's multiply account..thanks celine..


Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one.

The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend", one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn't want to be anything at all. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change...

We listened to our
friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time.
And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early.
We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us.

We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today.
The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us.. again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if...".

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us.


When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her... he didn't mean it.=(


This is
for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with...


This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, I'm just not ready." or maybe, "You're just not the one for me." (Then maybe later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so."
The ones that could
just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

We knew that we deserved better the entire time.. that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us when ever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted to be loved like that...

Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.


Here's for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart ... again.



This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.
Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.
This is for those confusing days, when you miss him,and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.



Stay strong.

.. and remember that relationships are like broken glass.Sometimes, it's better to leave it broken rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.
Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.
When your song comes on the radio, turn the station off.
When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.
When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door.

Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was...


Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to..

One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.
It's gonna hurt like hell, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is,
it will heal...

Friday, December 7, 2007

pinkishly pink

oh well, bkt ba pag pink e ikaw ang naiisip or naaassociate ko?.haha..weird noh.,o well.,cguro kse natutuwa aq sayo lalo na kung nakapink ka..bigla kong naappreciate ang lalaking nakapink dahil sayo..cguro kse nagulat lng aq nung unang beses na nakita kitang magsuot ng damit na pink.,minsan lng kse mangyari un at sobrang tuwang tuwa aq sayo..swear.,parang kanina, nakapink ka ulit.,hehe..

kht na wala tayong mashadong time na magkasama, kanina halos huminto ang mundo ko nung nagktinginan tayo..minsan lng din mangyari un..ewan ko ba, cguro dahil may something sa mga mata mo (muta??.haha.,joke lng)..basta may something sa mata mo eh..ndi ko maexplain..cguro kse me nakikita aqng mystery sa mga mata mo..ndi kse nagsasabi ng totoo, or iba ang ipinapakita nila..ndi ko tuloy alam kung ano ba tlga nararamdaman mo or kmusta ka na..kse ndi nmn tayo naguusap, ni magtxt ndi natin magawa..nahihiya kse ako sayo, as in super nahihiya aq sayo..kaya pag may mga piling moments na nagkakaron tayo ng interaction, sobrang tntreasure ko sha...haha..

mahal nga ba kita?.muka naman..ang sayang tingnan ka lalo na pag mukang malalim iniisip mo..malamang ndi mo alam un kse ndi ka nmn skn tumitingin kaya ndi mo ko nahuhuli..haha..pero lagi kaya kitang tinitingnan..lalo na kanina..para ngang high school eh..haha..me kilig factor pa kanina.,weh..hehe..ang weird noh..pero ganon tlga nararamdaman ko eh..ganon ang nararamdaman ko para sayo..mahal nga siguro kita..kht alam kong hindi mo kayang suklian..matagal ko ng tinanggap un...

basta ikaw ang pinkishly pink ng buhay ko..

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

reason vs emotion

reason vs emotion...this is the dilemma that most of the teens face...what will they follow?is it the mind that tells no or is it the heart that tells why should you be bothered?.this is really a difficult thing to answer..but we have to face it..sooner or later, we have to make a decision..it is not all the time that we will be in this situation..but when we experience this, the decision that we will make will hurt us in one way or another.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

all good things

All Good Things by Nelly Furtado

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

[Chorus:]
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

it's so sad things like this could happen...i love you, you love me, but then again we can't be together..sooner or later, we have to make another choice that could really change our lives..whatever that decision will be, let me tell you that i love you not because you're like someone else but i love you because you're you.i love you the way you are, the simple you, the real you.for now,i don't want to go though people will tell me that i'm stupid for making a decision like that. i can't go, not now...i don't want to go..you're the reason for my smiles even though you're also the reason for my cries.but everything's ok,everything will be alright..with you by my side..with you partially mine..with just you..i love you, now i'm sure.even though it's complicated.i know everything's complicated.whatever our decision will be,i know that it'll be the best for the two of us...i love you bie