Desiderata by Max Ehrman

(one of my fave poems...for many years, i have forgotten the message of this art.,It's time to recall the voice that shouted the message of self-acceptance)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Fear, Trust, Love and everything in between

I am in a happy marriage. I have an understanding husband, a cute little daughter, and God gives us the blessings that we deserve.

But I have this fear…fear of losing my husband..and this causes irritating situations between me and my husband. Trust is a separate issue. But I love him so much that it hurts every time we argue.

I fear that our marriage will fail someday because of me. This is why I’m trying my best to change. Failure doesn’t mean that we will go on separate ways. But there are just relationships where the parties change, they fall out of love but for valid and logical reasons, they opt to stick with one another.

Such relationships exist. That’s why I’m scared. I’m scared of being in that situation. I’m scared of failing. I may be a failure in other aspects but it will hurt me if this very important part of my life fails.

Trust. It is an ancient word and concept to me. I have lost my trust to men after I discovered that there are people who can lie to you to the extreme. I know that not all men are like that. But for me, it’s hard to regain that trust to people or guys because sh*t guys exist.

Trust. It is the thing that I want to regain. I want to fully trust my husband because I know he is sincere and honest. But fear of experiencing being cheated often comes to my mind. This is why I often calm my mind.

I love him so much. And this love led to the fear of losing him. I don’t want to be hurt again. This is also the reason why I am impatient especially when it comes to him. But as what Bo Sanchez said, impatience surfaces because people want to control things. People should be aware of the things that they can control and the things that they cannot. Everything in our life can be our area of concern but not are of control.

Maybe learning to be patient can help me calm my soul. Maybe when I gathered all my senses back, I can free from the chains of fear, distrust, and hate. I am a prisoner with shackles.

This is what I am learning now. To be free, to love right, and to walk in the right path.