june 29, 2010
today, it's been 1 year since we had our first encounter. He noticed me during our contract signing but i didn't. This day last year changed my life forever :)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
just another night
dear baby,
i love you..i hope you're ok.,i know you're ok.,your dad and i love you so much.,we want to give you everything that you need..you know what, every day your daddy sees to it that he has a bonding session with you.,every day un.,kakausapin ka nia from my tummy.,especially pag naramdaman niang malikot ka.,and every day, pagkagaling nia from work, lagi kang malikot.,daddy's girl :) and i'll see to it na pag gumagalaw ka, mararamdaman ka nia.,he loves you so much.,he wants to give you the best in everything..
excited na ko magoctober.,excited na kmi ng daddy mo.,gusto ka na nmin makasama.,pero for now, magiipon muna kmi para sayo.,sana mana ka sa daddy mo pagdating sa height at ilong., :)
i love you..i hope you're ok.,i know you're ok.,your dad and i love you so much.,we want to give you everything that you need..you know what, every day your daddy sees to it that he has a bonding session with you.,every day un.,kakausapin ka nia from my tummy.,especially pag naramdaman niang malikot ka.,and every day, pagkagaling nia from work, lagi kang malikot.,daddy's girl :) and i'll see to it na pag gumagalaw ka, mararamdaman ka nia.,he loves you so much.,he wants to give you the best in everything..
excited na ko magoctober.,excited na kmi ng daddy mo.,gusto ka na nmin makasama.,pero for now, magiipon muna kmi para sayo.,sana mana ka sa daddy mo pagdating sa height at ilong., :)
Sunday, June 20, 2010
a run down
...sharing my eternity with you...
sept 11, 2009
the day we admitted we love each other..i was not serious at first but my feelings got deeper and deeper. it was the day that my life changed. it was in that very day that my future was redirected. it was in that special day that a guy changed my views.
feb 16, 2010
i was crying so hard when he saw me. i was hesitant to tell him what happened, or what was happening. i just cried for few minutes more...tried to hide my fear. then when i told him i'm pregnant, we were both quiet for some time.
feb 19, 2010
i went to a laboratory to have an ultrasound. it was positive, i'm a month pregnant. all the things that had happened during the previous month came back to me. i was scared. i was drunk for how many times without knowing that i'm pregnant. it was funny because i was about to go to a drinking session with my friends when i thought of having a PT. it was too late, i have a baby, i was drunk many times, my life will change. we went to a mall to meet some friends, i told them i'm pregnant. it's hard for them to believe...it was also hard for me.
weeks after, i was thinking of letting him go. he has many dreams to achieve, i have my dreams too. i was thinking that time that it would be much easier for me to live my life with my baby, but without him. it's because i don't want to be a burden to him. i want him to achieve his dreams, to do his plans. i told myself that i will just ruin his beautiful life...but he said no.
i was trying to reassess my life before my next check up. i'm not yet ready. i'm too young to be a mother...young emotionally. i can't imagine myself being a mother. i still didn't achieve my dreams. i still have my plans. and all those plans will be washed away when my baby's born. i pondered for many weeks. i am not ready.
there were times when i just fell silent. i was thinking very deep on how to live my life. i started planning ahead, but it was a different plan. i don't want to have a baby at 25. i still want to start my career. i want to study further. i even thought that it's ok if i'll lose my baby. my family still doesn't know that i'm pregnant. that was one of the reasons why i wanted to let him go. so that whatever happens to me and my baby, we're not committed anymore. i'm not excited at all. then i realized that i'm so selfish.
march 19, 2010
i went to my OB-sonologist to have my 2nd ultrasound. this time, he's with me. it was confirmed for the nth time. my baby has a heartbeat. and my baby's like a gummy bear. arms and legs were starting to form. i saw the heart beating. that's when i realized this is something to be loved. i can't explain what i felt that time. i saw him smiling while looking at the monitor, looking at our child. our baby's so little. we're having a baby.
march 20, 2010
i asked my mom if she's busy. we went online and talked for minutes. then i told her i'm 2 months pregnant. she cried. i cried. she told it's ok. we cried for minutes. it made me realize that she wanted to be with me, that she has plans. but she told me, 'this time, my plan will be for three and not for two.' she told me to take care of myself and be healthy all the time. because what i'm doing will affect my baby too. i told her i'm sorry. she told me it's ok.
she told my dad about the news. my dad was silent for a day. my mom told me he'll be ok.
march 30, 2010
he told his family about the news. the wedding is on.
april and may 2010
i felt and saw the changes and developments inside my tummy. i realized there is really a life inside me that i should take care of. i felt that i just wanted to give my baby all the best things that i can give. i want my baby to be a good person. i love my baby.
june 4, 2010
after two months of preparation, we finally vowed for eternal love. thank God, the stress is over.
june 6, 2010
we had an ultrasound again. our baby's a girl. we started to shop for some stuff. i was excited to see my baby after few months.
june 20, 2010
last night's the second time that i saw some blood. i'm worried. i'm scared. what if my baby's not ok inside. maybe i overestimated my body. i thought i'm still ok. but now my baby's the one who's suffering. i cried last night. i don't want to lose my baby. i want to hug her when we welcome her to the world. i want to see her grow old. i want to hear her cry when she's hungry. all i want now is for her to be ok. i don't want to lose her. i want to see her on october. i want to take care of my baby. i want her to be ok...because i love her so much.
i know she's ok.
****
every day of my life, i'm thanking God for giving me my husband. i couldn't imagine how my life would be if i'm married to someone else. i'm thanking God for giving me the person who can tolerate me. the person who will let me see the beauty of life. the person who made me realize that in every rainstorm, there's always a rainbow with a pot of gold.
every night, i will look at him while he's deeply asleep. i will whisper to his ears how much i love him. he may not hear those words but i want to let him know that every minute of my life, i'm loving him with all my heart. i thank God for giving me that sept 11. he's my blessing in disguise.
i love him...and i always will.
sept 11, 2009
the day we admitted we love each other..i was not serious at first but my feelings got deeper and deeper. it was the day that my life changed. it was in that very day that my future was redirected. it was in that special day that a guy changed my views.
feb 16, 2010
i was crying so hard when he saw me. i was hesitant to tell him what happened, or what was happening. i just cried for few minutes more...tried to hide my fear. then when i told him i'm pregnant, we were both quiet for some time.
feb 19, 2010
i went to a laboratory to have an ultrasound. it was positive, i'm a month pregnant. all the things that had happened during the previous month came back to me. i was scared. i was drunk for how many times without knowing that i'm pregnant. it was funny because i was about to go to a drinking session with my friends when i thought of having a PT. it was too late, i have a baby, i was drunk many times, my life will change. we went to a mall to meet some friends, i told them i'm pregnant. it's hard for them to believe...it was also hard for me.
weeks after, i was thinking of letting him go. he has many dreams to achieve, i have my dreams too. i was thinking that time that it would be much easier for me to live my life with my baby, but without him. it's because i don't want to be a burden to him. i want him to achieve his dreams, to do his plans. i told myself that i will just ruin his beautiful life...but he said no.
i was trying to reassess my life before my next check up. i'm not yet ready. i'm too young to be a mother...young emotionally. i can't imagine myself being a mother. i still didn't achieve my dreams. i still have my plans. and all those plans will be washed away when my baby's born. i pondered for many weeks. i am not ready.
there were times when i just fell silent. i was thinking very deep on how to live my life. i started planning ahead, but it was a different plan. i don't want to have a baby at 25. i still want to start my career. i want to study further. i even thought that it's ok if i'll lose my baby. my family still doesn't know that i'm pregnant. that was one of the reasons why i wanted to let him go. so that whatever happens to me and my baby, we're not committed anymore. i'm not excited at all. then i realized that i'm so selfish.
march 19, 2010
i went to my OB-sonologist to have my 2nd ultrasound. this time, he's with me. it was confirmed for the nth time. my baby has a heartbeat. and my baby's like a gummy bear. arms and legs were starting to form. i saw the heart beating. that's when i realized this is something to be loved. i can't explain what i felt that time. i saw him smiling while looking at the monitor, looking at our child. our baby's so little. we're having a baby.
march 20, 2010
i asked my mom if she's busy. we went online and talked for minutes. then i told her i'm 2 months pregnant. she cried. i cried. she told it's ok. we cried for minutes. it made me realize that she wanted to be with me, that she has plans. but she told me, 'this time, my plan will be for three and not for two.' she told me to take care of myself and be healthy all the time. because what i'm doing will affect my baby too. i told her i'm sorry. she told me it's ok.
she told my dad about the news. my dad was silent for a day. my mom told me he'll be ok.
march 30, 2010
he told his family about the news. the wedding is on.
april and may 2010
i felt and saw the changes and developments inside my tummy. i realized there is really a life inside me that i should take care of. i felt that i just wanted to give my baby all the best things that i can give. i want my baby to be a good person. i love my baby.
june 4, 2010
after two months of preparation, we finally vowed for eternal love. thank God, the stress is over.
june 6, 2010
we had an ultrasound again. our baby's a girl. we started to shop for some stuff. i was excited to see my baby after few months.
june 20, 2010
last night's the second time that i saw some blood. i'm worried. i'm scared. what if my baby's not ok inside. maybe i overestimated my body. i thought i'm still ok. but now my baby's the one who's suffering. i cried last night. i don't want to lose my baby. i want to hug her when we welcome her to the world. i want to see her grow old. i want to hear her cry when she's hungry. all i want now is for her to be ok. i don't want to lose her. i want to see her on october. i want to take care of my baby. i want her to be ok...because i love her so much.
i know she's ok.
****
every day of my life, i'm thanking God for giving me my husband. i couldn't imagine how my life would be if i'm married to someone else. i'm thanking God for giving me the person who can tolerate me. the person who will let me see the beauty of life. the person who made me realize that in every rainstorm, there's always a rainbow with a pot of gold.
every night, i will look at him while he's deeply asleep. i will whisper to his ears how much i love him. he may not hear those words but i want to let him know that every minute of my life, i'm loving him with all my heart. i thank God for giving me that sept 11. he's my blessing in disguise.
i love him...and i always will.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
