vulnerable

Vulnerable

Vulnerable, that’s what I am now. I don’t want to hurt others’ feelings because of this vulnerability. I am vulnerable because of the pain; the pain that broke my heart, nearly killing me inside. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake that I made years before. I thought that I love you, but then, I suddenly realized that I am just vulnerable when you came into my life. But I have loved you as time went by. I learned to love you the way you are without thinking of the pain that I experienced. Your life suddenly changed because of me; and without your notice, my life drastically changed too because of you. I have felt so much pain when I was with you, with you by my side. The process that we went through before we became lovers was wrong, with both of us so vulnerable and hurting inside. We were both hurt of what we’ve been through.

And now, I don’t want to repeat the same mistake again. I don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings; I don’t want to have another person’s life to be wasted because of me. I don’t want to be haunted by guilt again. I don’t want to use other people to overcome the pain that I am experiencing right now. Yes, I am vulnerable once again and I don’t want to ask someone to catch me this time.