a bum's life..

nov 30, 2007...walang pasok dhil holiday.,i slept almost all day...woke up at around 4pm when the person i was with the whole night woke me up to say that he's leaving...after non, nagcomputer na q.,net to the max..without actually eating any real meal..buti nagsurvive ako..haha.,i just ate eggnogs and drank mountain dew.,very healthy huh?.hehe..after that i ate nacho..puro chichirya..wala tlgang real food.,and now, it's already almost 11pm and i haven't eaten any heavy meal yet..tinatamad aqng lumabas ng bahay para kumain or bumili ng food..it's cold outside kaya mas gusto ko nalng na nsa ilalim aq ng quilt.,hehe.,

today, i was with the person i love almost the whole day..just being next to him is the greatest thing that can happen to me at this point of my life..do i love him?.ewan ko lng..basta what i feel is something special..i can't say na ngyon ko lng naramdaman toh..no it's not..i felt this feeling many times..i cried, i laughed, i loved..this time, it's the same feeling..i cried once, i laugh because of him, and i love him..his childish acts make me like him more..para tlga shang bata..hehe..without so much effort, he can make me smile..pero without his notice, napapaiyak nia rin aq..well, it's our fault..malabo kse eh..kya minsan pag nahihirapan na ko, i just cry..pero minsan ayokong icpin..ayoko muna magplano ng gagawin..ayokong lumayo at the same time ayokong mashadong lumapit..i know mali, pero kelangan ko tlga ng batok eh.,ewan ko ba..ndi ko rin maintindihan sarili ko..i want to hug him,khit payat sha..hehe.,i want to be with him..pero may constraints kse..kya hindi pwd..basta complicated..pero wala nmn akong magawa eh..ayokong gumawa ng move muna..matagal ko na kcng sinabi na lalayo aq.,kso lng ndi ko magawa..hai...

tanga ba ko??

hai.,ewan ko ba...eto na nmn ako, walang direksyon ang iniisip at pinapasok.,,tanga ba ko?.ndi, nagmamahal lng.,pero tanga pa rin, aminado ko.,ndi ko na rin kse alam kung ano ba tlga ang gagawin ko.,mashadong magulo.,,khit na para smin ay clear nmn.,clear nga ba?.oo mahal nmin ang isa't isa,pero dahil dito komplikado tuloy ang mundo nming 2.,pero mahal nga ba nia ko?.base sa sinabi niang scenario kagabi,oo,cguro...ewan,hindi ko tlga alam kung ano ung gagawin ko.,pero khit na magulo,masaya parin..khit na me iba akong iniisip,cge lng muna.,ayoko munang isipin ang problema,gusto ko lng isipin ung kming dalawa...parehas kming bata..sha,bata tlga,ako isip bata.,haha..ganun tlga.,bkt kse ndi pwdng kmi na lng?.gusto ko ung sabihin sa knya kagabi, "sana tayo na lng"..

hands down

ikaw lang ang nakatugtog nito sakin...and it hurts to remember those nights when you were partially mine..

your guardian angel

i was left hanging

the grey area that complicates it all

the area that complicates all things, that was the place i was in before. i got out from that area, got out from the complication. i can't lie, but i was hurt. i cried my pain out. i want to divert my pain, i want to divert my feelings. that area taught me something that i could not forget. no one can love two persons at the same time. one should choose. one should make a choice. there will always be someone that will be hurt because of the decision. one should forget how it feels. one should move on and let go of the feeling. is it a wonderful feeling if you will let go the feeling that makes things complicated? will you be happy to know that the complication is over? will you be relieved it's over? the complication is more complicated now, it hurts so much to be out of that area. i was hurt. i'm in pain till now. i was stabbed once more. i almost died because of the pain. this complication made me feel light before. this helped me forget the past pain that i felt. but this complication also became the reason for another pain. i never regret being in that area, i never regret feeling something for you, i never regret the day i got your number. i don't regret anything about us. it's part of me now, part of my past. you're my past now. i have to let go and move on. i have to let go another beautiful feeling that made each and every minute with you worthwhile. you have your own life now and i was suddenly left hanging in the air. i was suddenly left alone. i'm all alone now. i'm on my own again. alone. we made our choice. i was hurt because of what we chose. i can't do anything now, i don't want to go back to the grey area. we moved on from where we stood before. now, there are two separate people living their own lives that were once living together in a shared fantasy.

we made our choice. you chose to be in white. i chose to be in black. there's no grey now, only black and white

baby boy...baby girl

nung bata tayo, andali lng malaman ng tama at mali..basta wag kang mananakit ng ibang tao, wag kang kukuha ng hindi sayo, magsorry pag may nsaktan..pro ngyon ang hirap gawin ng mga un. ewan ko ba.,ang dali lng nmn.pero kse ngyon may kasamang ng emotions..mas nagiging komplikado ang lahat..may kasama ng puso...

nung bata tayo, gusto na nating maging matanda..kse parang iba ang mundo nila sa mundo natin at gusto natin na sumali sa mundo nila..kse parang nakakasawa na rin sa mundo natin...pero ngayon, gusto kong bumalik sa mundong dati'y parte ako..kse ang mundo pala na dati ay gusto kong mapuntahan ay sobrang komplikado..lahat ng bagay kelangan mong pagisipan ng mabuti..kelangan mong isipin ang ibang bagay..

kung iisipin natin, ang dali lang nmn ng mga batas ng buhay eh..ang simple simple..pero ewan ko rin ba kung bkit napakahirap nitong gawin..ang hirap din isipin kung tama ba o mali ang gagawin mo..kse konektado ang lahat ng bagay, kelangan mong isipin din ang iba.

songs

ayun..cge kumanta ka jan..bkt ka ba gnyan?.kgbi pa toh,kgabi pa ung mga kantang yan..kgbi pa sa dunkin donuts..sadya bang nananaja ang panahon?.grabe..at ang favorite kong kanta bgla mo pang ginitara..ni hindi ko man lng sinabi kse gusto ko tugtugin mo ng kusa..at ayun na nga, tinugtog mo nga..hai..ang hirap..ang hirap ng ganito..khit anong pilit ang gawin kong iwasan ka, tlgang hindi ka lumalayo..ayaw mong lumayo..

ti amo

mi odio appena... ed inoltre li odio che li odio per rendermi la caduta per voi e sembra che tutto è ora nella complicazione. odio il senso che dite a me che lo gradite e che mi ritenete qualcosa per. odio il senso che li curo odio il senso li manco odio il senso li cerco odio la tristezza che ritengo il everytime siamo diversi. odio il senso che siamo destra ora odio la complicazione che siamo poll. odio il fatto che amate qualcuno. odio il fatto che amo qualcuno altrimenti ma tutti i questi marca me li desiderano di più che ve l'disegnano realmente ho la scelta di comunicazione con voi, ma non posso farlo appena perché ti amo...

i just hate myself...and i also hate you. i hate you for making me fall for you and it seems that everything is now in complication. i hate the way you say to me that you like me and that you feel something for me. i hate the way i treat you. i hate the way i miss you. i hate the way i look for you. i hate the sadness that i feel everytime we're apart. i hate the way we are right now. i hate the complication that we're in. i hate the fact that you love somebody. i hate the fact that i love someone else. but all of these make me want you more. they draw me closer to you. i actually have the choice of not communicating with you, but i just can't do it because i love you...

..everything's complicated..

BOYS...THEY MAKE OUR LIVES COMPLICATED.,this is the only thing that's in my mind right now.,

ewan ko ba...bkt sobrang ang complicated ng life?.andami kong kalokohan..andami kong nasasaktan..ayoko nang mkasakit pa..

i was suddenly stabbed directly at my heart...

all of a sudden, nakafeel ako ng pain...so much pain that no one can imagine..sobrang sakit na biglang isang araw para kang sinakluban ng langit at lupa..bigla kang naiwan..bigla kang iniwan...

my life right now is really complicated..hindi ko na lam kung ano ba tlga ang nafeefeel ko..may mahal ba ko?.o ilusyon lng na may nararamdaman ako..nasasaktan na ko..mas masakit pa kesa sa tusok ng karayom at hiwa ng kuchilyo

ano na nga ba ngayon?.ndi ko rin masagot eh..magulo lht..masakit lahat..

lahat ng daan, feeling ko papunta sa isang sakit..iba iba nga lang ang level..nsa crossroad ako ngayon..pumipili ng tamang daan..khit na alam kong khit anong piliin ko e sakit din ang matatagpuan ko sa huli..si fish ba?o beb?o c labs?

bkt ba kse ako umasa eh..dpat ndi na lng..akala ko kse may magandang patutunguhan ang lahat..un pala wala..kala ko lamang ako dahil may tumutulong sakin..un pla balewala rin kung ayaw nia tlga..kse, may mahal na shang iba at hindi ko na pwdng baguhin pa un..mahirap magmahal ng taong may mahal ng iba...kse masakit at nakakapanghina..

minsan gusto ko na lng umiyak ng umiyak..minsan gusto ko na lng matulog buong araw para wala na kong maramdaman na sakit..kse ang sakit sakit na..

ndi ko na alam kung ano na nga ba tlga ngayon..ndi ko alam kung ano ba tong nararamdaman ko sainyo...bkt kse sabay sabay pa kayong dumating..at unti unting nwwla..unti unting iniiwan ako...mag-isa

..mixed feelings..

this is really weird.,i was hurt and still hurting..i never thought na i would be hurt so bad.,i never thought na mamahalin kita ng sobra para masaktan ng sobra.,ang linya ko pa dati:

mahal na mahal kita, kahit ang sakit sakit na

o well.,mahal na mahal kita, alam mo ba un.,pero bale wala rin nmn ang pagmamahal ko kung ayaw mong irecognize.,.oo dati pangarap ko tlga na maging wifey mo.,pero pangarap nga lang un eh.,,isang panaginip na khit kelan hindi mangyayari.,

past ka na ba na maituturing ko??

hindi ko rin alam.,.pero ngayon mukang handa na ko na magmove on.,ayoko na rin na isipin pang me magandang mangyayari satin..mukang sa panaginip nlng un mangyayari at hindi sa realidad.,.i have to let go a very wonderful feeling coz i think that's the right thing to do.,,mashado na kong nasasaktan..baka magsimula na naman akong malungkot.,ayokong umabot sa point na down na down na nmn aq.,ayoko nang mangyari un...

you mended my aching heart before and now you caused another pain...