yesterday, today, tomorrow

i love you more each day.. :)

i really do love you mahal ko...

fairytale in our life

Once in a while, we dream of having our own fairytale. The one with "happily ever after" and the one where we find our prince charming. But fairytales aren't true. There's no such thing as fairytale in reality. Why? It is because there are really not happily-ever-afters and we can't find our perfect prince.

But fairytales give us hope...we learn to dream. This is what's important in our life...our dreams. But we should not just stop there. We have to live in our own dreams that are close to reality.

In life, we can't have our happily ever after because believe it or not, agree with me or not, there are really problems that we have to face. BUT...we can be happy even if we have our own problems. It's just how we deal with them...how we see them. We should be skeptical...this is a must. But this should not shatter our dreams...so we can reach our own happiness. With this, we can say that we have lived our life to the fullest...just like a "happy ending". Endings signify new beginnings. So we should not be disappointed if something in our life has ended. This is the signal that we have to move on...move on from all the things that we have held on to. Because things aren't permanent. The only constant thing in this world is change. So why hold back to those things that need to be changed? Because whether we like it or not, we lose one...but we gain two. This is how life works.

So never stop dreaming and believing...because if things aren't perfect now, sooner or later, everything will change and will be all fine...and this is what we can now call our own fairytale.

night thoughts

i was suddenly awaken by a phone call...but i was not sleeping. in fact, i was wide awake. this is the reason for the awakening. i was awake but not in reality. yes, i am emotional once again.

i need to sleep but how am i going to do that?.i rolled, changed my position, sketched, and cross stitched. i'm still awake. i am awake.

am i?. not really,,not in every aspect of my life. i feel that most of my parts are sleeping. my mind, my heart,,i'm suddenly stunned by reality. i got lagged. paused. not moving an inch.

...where do i have to go?.or do i have to?.i know i have to. i know i want to. i want to change this stunning, this pausing...because i know i'm passive.

i'm tired of thinking.
i'm tired of showing numbness in me
i'm tired...of moving.
because i know what i'm doing is wrong. indeed.

at least i know that i'm wrong. i admit it. i am aware. no need to tell me.
i have hurt too much, not for myself but for others. i hurt. they hurt. he hurts.

this is reality. this is the world. this is my world.
this is where i'm moving.
and this is where i'm going to start changing.

crossroads? no. not anymore. i'm moving inch by inch each day. but at times, i'm stepping backwards. but the bottomline is, i do not stop moving.

i am not stunned at all.
this is what i have realized now (just now)
coz i'm sailing. but not away. towards.

i know i can get to the finish line. to the island. to the shore. to where my heart leads me to.
this is me. this is who i am.
i can change. but not entirely.
i can remove things. but not all.
i can still be me. but only half.

because half of me belongs to you.
only to you.

.i love you.

..it all went well..

yup..i thought it would be one of my worst, but it didn't. i was surprised of how everything went fine.. :)