a sudden slap

there was a sudden slap..i was suddenly ashamed of myself being such. it's my choice but it really bothers me...a lot. but this is reality, this is the real world. I can't live within my dreams forever. We can't. Nobody can't unless you are a psycho or something. But for normal ones, we know we can't. Unless we deny that reality in our lives. But that denial will not take so long. It will end soon. Sooner that we thought. And now is the time for me. I was slapped with that reality. It took a long time for me to clear my head. I was suddenly lost in the middle of the street because all i thought is that i'm doing just fine. But i was wrong. That mistake is the one that i learned today. How many people will say that to me? I think no one will dare because it's a taboo...a considered taboo in the conventional and conservative world. It felt so bad but I am starting to internalize and arrange the thoughts and things in my life.

I was slapped...real hard.