Saturday, October 3, 2009

..requited love..

In love, yes…but I can feel the avoidance and refrainment of my subconscious (if you can call it subconscious). Maybe it’s my defense mechanism brought by my past relationship. I am now afraid to fall deeply in love again…but he taught me, or teaching me to trust again…not to be afraid, not to be afraid of falling in love again. He’s teaching me and making me feel the security. He’s making me feel the warm blanket around me, around us. He’s teaching me something that I already forgot…and that’s the connection of love and trust. I thought that trust will never come again in my life. but he proved me wrong. At first, I thought all guys are the same. To tell you, I am hard to manage…really hard to manage. But he’s doing it, in spite of all the things that happened to me and all the thoughts that I had. Now, my heart is gradually coping, gradually breathing, gradually beating as before. It’s because of his protection, it’s because of his love. That’s why I am once again ready to love and trust again…to bring back the old heart that loves continuously without doubt. To love myself and the one who loves me. I am recuperating from a disastrous or traumatic relationship. This is a new beginning. Everything’s new, everything’s fresh. Nevertheless, the lessons are still with me, assuring that I’ll never forget them.

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