procrastinating...maybe.,but i still don't know.,there are some things in my life that i want to wipe out.,i was in the process of reflecting last night.,a deep one as i can say.,i don't know but there are things in my life that i don't understand.,then he said, stop blaming yourself.,he's correct.,maybe,not every negative thing or event that happens in my life is really my fault.,i was surprised (his reactions were unexpected),,i'm lucky he's like that.,we talked seriously last night about the questions that need to be answered.,he explained some things to me.,this is one of the reasons why i love him so much.,he understands me as much as he could.,and i do love him for that.,i'm attached...i know that.,now i can say that this is it.,the go signal is on.,no turning back now.,because i also can't turn back now.,i mean, i already let myself be attached to him (though ever since that's the case.,it's different at this moment).,this is the unexpected thing that happened last night.,his reactions were really unexpected.,i didn't cover up things last night.,it's just that,,there are information that are hard to discuss.,or i'm too shy to discuss..i don't know.,i'm like that.,but then, he made me realize he's not just a friend.,i know that.,but still,,,i don't know.,every day, i can feel that i want to be with him more.,but then i know it's not possible.,we have separate lives.,we have our own lives.,we are different people who are in a relationship.,a very deep one.,this is actually the reason why i don't want to be so attached to him.,because i don't like this feeling...
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