..just don't want to add a title..

it is same as saying this post is untitled. I don't want to give a title to this blog entry because i just feel like not placing any. Honestly, i don't know what i'm going to say in this entry. i just want to write something (and that's not for the sake of writing and earning something). I want to unwind from the stressful day that i had. Stressful because i have a deadline to beat. (nearly 3 hours to go and my time is up). Still, i haven't finished my assignment up to now. One article is such a long one for me right at this moment. It's because my mind is clouded with so many things. Things comin' in and goin out. They just don't settle (i mean my thoughts). They're flying everywhere. If only i could see my brain, i could see smog in it. lots of smog. maybe you're asking why i thought of smog, right?. actually, i don't know too. i just thought that smog is a combination of good and bad. and that's exactly what's happening inside my head. if i could just order my thoughts to stop bothering me so i could finish my work. but i can't. they just won't listen. i just won't listen. (and now i'm talking to myself..freak right)..well, this is the beauty of writing a blog entry. you can talk stupidly to yourself. just like what i'm doin right now.

minutes are passing. seconds. microseconds.

i'm hanging.

i'm hung.

i'm...

...totally confused.

and that's what i am now. confused. confused of what to think. confused of what to believe. i barely can't breathe. smog's into my chest now (finally leaving my null mind)

...and now the smog's starting to numb me. it's starting to make my chest null too.

i dunno..i just dunno.

..a happy day..

planning your future is an exciting thing in your life. But what makes it more exciting is when you do it with the one you really love. I did that today.

This completed my day. We went to church for the usual Sunday mass and headed towards my subdivision. We sat on an empty lot and spread a newspaper to protect our clothes. We looked at the metro (since our subdivision is located on a hill) and started to imagine...and plan.

It's a wonderful experience for me, especially that I did this with my special someone.
Honestly, this was the first time... :)

..am i selfish??..

yeah, that's my question now..alam q,ndi nmn tlaga kmi eh..pero parang ganun..magulo at malabo..one thing's for sure,we love each other..and dahil dun, parang ipinagdadamot q sha ngyon..cguro dala na lng din nung nangyari..ewan q ba..naffeel q tuloy na ang selfish q...alam q nmang mali eh...alam na alam q un..unang una, wala aqng karapatan..at pangalawa,kht nmn kmi e hindi pa rin tama un...ewan q ba..bkt ganito ang nangyayari sakn ngyon...haist..

mahal na mahal ko talaga sha..wala nmang duda dun eh..pro ndi q rin maintindihan ung sarili q ngyon...sana hindi na matapos kung anuman ang meron smin ngyon...kelangan lang nmin aucn lht ng kelangang aucn..at sana nga maayos pa sha...sana..pero extra effort para sa min..haist...

..you broke my heart..

unexpectedly, you broke my heart.

..funny thing i learned today..

funny how the things you hate before will become the things you’ll thank in the future..i was reading my testimonials this morning.me isa don na nagsabi na i should look at the bright side of what happened in my 2nd sem last school year. i failed one of my majors and i can’t graduate the coming summer term. i so hate my prof at that time. she was also my thesis adviser and that time, me and my thesis partner were having a hard time finishing our thesis. and so i re-enrolled my major subject. the funny thing there is that having to extend my studies made me meet the one i love now. and the more funny thing is that i met him while looking for a topic for my case study required in that subject..hehe..it’s so funny noh..fate really plays the way you don’t expect. and now i can say that things happen for a reason. that is why i can say that it’s so funny that the things you hate before will be the things you’ll thank in the future…i’m thankful for that subject..there was a sudden twist in my life… a funny little twist…

bakit nga ba ako naiirita??

bakit nga ba??.dahil ba hindi sha nagttxt?.e bakit ba kse ako nageexpect??.cguro dahil me bearing skn ang nangyari?.ewan q ba.,naaasar aq..kung may paguusap man, cguro nga kelangan ko un..or wala lang sha kaya hindi kelangan magusap?.gusto ko magusap kse gusto ko iclear sa knya lahat..i mean, hindi ko kse nagawa un..hai..asar!

awit ng pag-ibig XX

Awit ng Pag-ibig XX
Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi
ni Pablo Neruda
sa salin ni Virgilio Almario

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.

Maisusulat ko, halimbawa: "Mabituin ang gabi
at nanginginig, bughaw ang mga tala sa malayo."

Lumiligid sa langit ang simoy-gabi at umaawit.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Minahal ko siya, at minahal din niya ako paminsan-minsan.

Sa mga gabing ganito, ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig.
Ulit-ulit ko siyang hinagkan sa lilim ng walang-hanggang langit.

Minahal niya ako, paminsan-minsan ko rin siyang minahal.
Sino ang hindi iibig sa kaniyang malalaki't mga matang tahimik?

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Maiisip kasing hindi na siya akin. Madaramang wala na siya sa akin.

Maririnig ang gabing malawak, at mas lumalawak kung wala siya.
At pumapatak sa kaluluwa ang bersong tila hamog sa pastulan.

Maano kung hindi siya mabantayan ng aking pag-ibig.
Mabituin ang gabi at hindi siya kapiling.

Ito na ang lahat. May umaawit sa malayo. Sa malayo.
Hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Upang waring ilapit siya, hinahanap siya ng aking mata.
Hinahanap siya ng aking puso, at hindi siya kapiling.

Ganito rin ang gabing nagpapusyaw sa ganito ring mga punongkahoy.
Kami, sa tagpong iyon, ang nagbago.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit minahal ko siya nang todo.
Hinahanap ng tinig ko ang simoy upang hipuin ang kaniyang pandinig.

Nasa iba. Siya'y nasa iba. Tulad noong katalik siya ng aking mga halik.
Ang kaniyang tinig, malinaw na katawan. Ang kaniyang matang walang-hanggan.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit baka mahal ko siya.
Napakaikli ng pag-ibig, napakahaba ng paglimot.

Dahil sa mga gabing ganito na ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig
hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Kahit ito na ang huling pighating ipapataw niya sa akin,
at ito ang huling mga bersong isusulat ko para sa kaniya.



"Puedo Escribir" ni Pablo Neruda salin ni Virgilio Almario

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isang napakalungkot na gabi (muli)..hindi ko alam kung bakit..dahil ba sa mga nangyayari?.hindi ko rin alam..kung kanino ko man ialay ang tulang to, ako na lang ang nakakaalam nun..ayoko ng komplikasyon, ayoko ng muling pag-iyak, ayokong masaktan...

mag-isip ka..ano ba tlga?.ano na ba??.diba ang hirap sagutin..kung ikaw nalilito, ano pa kaya ako?.nalilito, nahihirapan, nasasaktan...

alam mo kung ano...ayaw mo lang isipin..parang ako lang..tinatakasan ko ang pag-iisip..gusto kong idaan sa tulog ang lahat para hindi ko maisip..kse pag inisip ko ulit, ang hirap sagutin ng mga tanong sa isip ko..

pero masaya ako..kung alam mo lang.masaya akong nasasaktan..masokista no?.pero ganun tlga..kaya naman hahayaan ko na lang..kung anuman ang mangyari, e di nangyari..wala naman akong hawak sa bagay na to..masaya ako (sa piling mo)...