..laya..

ikaw ang taong mapagpalaya...
ikaw ang taong nagpalaya...
at ikaw ang taong magpapalaya...

oo, ikaw nga. bkt ba kasi sa tuwing sasapit ang umaga ay ikaw ang naiisip ko..na sana khit makita ka man lang khit ndi tayo magusap, o hindi mo ko makita. khit na tingnan lang kita sa malayong lugar.

hindi ako nahihiyang aminin na gusto kita sa ibang tao. pero gaya ng dati, nahihiya ako pag ikaw na ang katapat ko. hindi ko na masabi ang gusto kong sabihin. hindi na ako makapagsalita. ngingiti nlng ako kasabay ng iyong magagandang ngiti. mga ngiting nagiging dahilan para ako'y manghina, at hayaan nlng ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko. bahala na.

hindi ako nahihiyang aminin na gusto kita. hindi ako nahihiya. hindi ako natatakot sa kung anuman ang sasabihin ng mga tao. pero ang hindi lang nila alam na hindi pa akong handang ipagsabi ay ang katotohanang hindi kita gusto...pero unti-unti na kitang minamahal.

ikaw ang taong magpapalaya. at ito ay sa maraming bagay. isa na ako don. isa ako sa mga palalayain mo. oo matagal na kong nagpalaya, pero hindi sa ganitong aspeto. hindi ko na kelangan pang palawigin, alam kong naiintindihan mo na. handa na ako, kung hindi man sayo...khit sa iba. tanggap ko na.

oo, ikaw nga. ikaw ang taong magpapalaya sa akin sa isang kahong madilim na matagal kong pinagkulungan. kung noo'y may kaunting liwanag, ngayon ay nakalabas na.

oo. ikaw ang taong nsa puso ko ngyon.

oo. ikaw ang babaeng gusto ko.

..unrequited love..

the unrequited love...

the heartache and heartbreak...

this is what i am supposed to be. this is what i should be.

i thought i've started to move on. i thought that i already took the first step. i just thought. but where am i now? how am i suppose to live? maybe i've already took the first step but i was not yet finished when i suddenly felt everything that i've felt before. everything came back so fast that i had no time to prevent it. i felt it again once more. i've wanted to build a shield around me so that i will not feel anything for him again. now this time, i have proven myself that i am not numb. because until now, i am still crying. my eyes are still crying while my heart is still sobbing.

..time and tide by basia..

It's hard for me to stop my heart
love never knows
when the time is right
I don't want to hurt
anybody but
can't help loving you

I never felt like this before
I know this is passion
worth waiting for
let love take take its course
that's the only thing
for us to do

We got time, oh baby,
there's no rush
gonna be a better
day for us
hang on
and I will
wait for you
our love will always stay as good as new

Time and tide
nothing and no one
can stop us now
for better for worse
this time I'm sure
it's gonna last

How can I stop my heart?
Love never knows
when the time is right
don't want to hurt
anybody
don't want to make them cry
don't want to make them cry

We've got time, oh baby
there's no rush
gonna be a better
day for us
hang on
and I will wait for you
Our love will always stay as good as...
new

It's a matter of time
only a matter of...
Time and tide
nothing and no one
can stop us now
for better for worse
this time I'm sure
it's gonna last
gonna last forever

We got time, oh baby
there's no rush
gonna be a better
day for us
hang on
and I will wait for you

..excerpt from a warm cup..

I nod, looking at the way you hesitate to take my hand, resting so near yours; I know you’re already gone. I will make it easy for both of us. I tell myself, I will forget the feel of your hands on my skin. I will smile and tell you that I’m happy for you because that what you want to hear, and that is what I want to believe. I will not hope you will be back soon nor say that I wish I where going with you. Instead, I will keep in my mind that there is nothing between us anymore. It’s just that the coffee is to warm and I am so cold…

am i flattered?? (makapal na post)

am i really easy to love or people just think that i am easy to get?

this bothers me right now..just this week, i met someone. we're together for only about 2 days and he told me that he likes me to be his girlfriend. well, i am really shocked because he only got to know me really just the other day. we talked about our lives, our views in romantic relationship and the like. he asked for my number and i gave it because he looks like a good guy. i really don't have anything against him but i'm just wondering what is it that he saw in me that made him like me. he doesn't know that i am an activist. will he still like me if i told him that?

i told him that i am not yet ready for another commitment. things are just happening so fast just like what happened to kristian. everything came so fast, and everything was lost so fast too without me knowing that i was left hanging in the air. i don't want to experience another kristian in my life. maybe i was traumatized with what i experienced when there's someone who came to your life so fast because i know that he or she will also be gone the way he or she came and it will really hurt me so much.

..nothing..

ewan..gusto ko lng magblog about anything..i really don't know kung ano un basta i'll just write something..

maybe about how i feel..it's weird pero everyone tells me that i'm looking well lately..there's something in my smiles..ngyon pa na sobrang lungkot aq..oh well..at least ndi nila halata..or hindi ko nlng tlga pinapansin..ayokong kimkimin pero cguro tlgang hindi ko lng pinapansin..cguro nakatulong ng sobra ang brods and sisses sakn..kse lagi nila kong pinapatawa..nakakalimutan ko kung ano man ung nararamdaman ko..pero affected aq pag nakita ko sha?.cguro gusto ko lng makita ang reaction nia pag nakita nia q..un lng..


i try to say goodbye by macy gray

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But wer,e not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

..thought for the day..

after a while i've learned the difference of holding a hand and falling in love..
of a hug, and the hug that gets tighter..
of kisses, that they don't always mean something..
of people, that they come and go even if didn't want them to..
and so i learned to enjoy moment until it lasts, for i'll never know, until when it will be there..

because..

not all good things and good people last forever.