vulnerable

Vulnerable

Vulnerable, that’s what I am now. I don’t want to hurt others’ feelings because of this vulnerability. I am vulnerable because of the pain; the pain that broke my heart, nearly killing me inside. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake that I made years before. I thought that I love you, but then, I suddenly realized that I am just vulnerable when you came into my life. But I have loved you as time went by. I learned to love you the way you are without thinking of the pain that I experienced. Your life suddenly changed because of me; and without your notice, my life drastically changed too because of you. I have felt so much pain when I was with you, with you by my side. The process that we went through before we became lovers was wrong, with both of us so vulnerable and hurting inside. We were both hurt of what we’ve been through.

And now, I don’t want to repeat the same mistake again. I don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings; I don’t want to have another person’s life to be wasted because of me. I don’t want to be haunted by guilt again. I don’t want to use other people to overcome the pain that I am experiencing right now. Yes, I am vulnerable once again and I don’t want to ask someone to catch me this time.

star

a poem for someone in the past

I’ve loved you in the most unexpected time

But our lines just don’t rhyme

And this was just the start of the strife

Fate is playing his game on us

He chose to get us Even if we can’t be together

I still loved you waiting for things to be better

You have your own life and I have mine

We just played our selfish game

We were just passing but the time was benign

Making our paths cross and everything’s not the same

I thought I would forget you

After that I would go back to my own life

But things aren’t right and time would not let me to

close but not enough

We were too near yet too far

Like a rose yet a star

We were given another chance

We played with it and started to dance

Then another trick was played by time

You found your love and I found mine

Things just don’t seem right

And I don’t know if I can still fight

I am tired of playing this game

Coz I know you don’t feel the same

missing you

god.,i really miss you...ang hirap tlga pag sembreak..di kita makita..di kita masulyapan..at..ndi kita masundan..hehe..stalker??siguro, ndi ko alam..pero ndi naman ako freaky noh tulad ng iba jan..basta ngayon, namimiss na kita ng sobra..lam mo ba un?,nangungulila??,hmmm..ewan..hehe.. gusto ko magpunta senio.,pero ano naman ang gagawin ko dun...malamang ndi ko sau sasabihin na andun ako...e pag ndi kita nakita, sayang lang effort ko noh...hai..ano bang meron ka at nagkakaganito ako sayo...marami nmn jang iba pero bakit ikaw?,kaw kse eh, bkt pa kse tyo nagusap..yan tuloy..ang hirap..ang hirap manghula sa nararamdaman mo..nahihirapan ako..minsan gusto ko sumuko..pero ang sabi ko nga pla non maghihintay ako..hihintayin kita...pero hanggang kelan nga ba un??.ewan..sa dulo ng walang hanggan.!.baduy!.shet..

my best sis!

dear best sis,
sobrang mamimiss kita, ayokong magpakasentimental pero hindi ko tlga mapigilan..ayoko lang ipakita sayo, ayokong umiyak sa harap mo..pero kung alam mo lang, sobrang nalulungkot ako sa thought na hindi na tayo magkasama next sem. ayan, tuloy tuloy na luha ko. hai, pero ganun tlga,.may mga bagay tlga na kelangan mangyari...sorry kung lately hindi mo ko maramdaman..una, dahil na rin sa acads..alam mo naman sobrang hell week ko ung last 2 weeks ng class..pangalwa, ayoko rin magsink in sakin ung mangyayari..pero may mga bagay tlga na hindi mapigilan, hindi maiwasan..kaya kahit na anong iwas ko na maisip at maramdaman, dumadating at dumadating tlga sha..parang ngayon...sobrang nagsink na sha sakin.
sobrang mamimiss tlga kita best sis!.kung alam mo lang kung gano ko nalulungkot ngayon..

sabi natin diba walang iiyak, pero pucha, hindi ko na mapigilan ung mga luha ko..kusa na silang lumalabas, ilang araw ko shang pinigilan, ilang araw ko silang tinago, pero hindi na nila kayang magtago pa...

pano na lang ako..pano na lang ako kung wala ka

Kung wala ka nang maintindihan
Kung wala ka nang makapitan
Kapit ka sa akin, kapit ka sa akin
Di kita bibitawan

wag mo nang damdamin kung wala ako sayong tabi
iiwan kong puso ko sa yo
at kung pakiramdam mo’y wala ka nang kakampi
isipin mo ako dahil puso’t isip ko’y nasa yong tabi

at baka bukas ngingiti ka sa wakas at sabay natin haharapin ang mundo

Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo
Kakayanin ko

Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka

sobrang mamimiss kita best sis ko!

san miguel octoberfest!

san miguel octoberfest!.oo,start na ang octoberfest.,at nagkaron ng celebration dito last night, october 13, sa SM baguio..haha.,tumugtog ang sugarfree!.at dahil early bird kmi, kasama kmi sa first 7 na pwd mameet ang sugarfree.,hehe..kaya ayun, nameet namin sila at me poster pa!.,haha..saya saya tlga..hehe..actually, first octoberfest ko un..hehe..corny!.ganun tlga.,haha..basta masaya sha...

kung hadlang man ako

kung hadlang man ako sa dalawang taong nagmamahalan, masaya akong lalayo para hayaan kayong dalawa na maging masaya...dahil kahit kelan, ndi ako magiging masaya kung maging tayo man pero iba naman tlga ang mahal mo...

lalayo ako, wag kayong magalala

affected

haha..affected?,cno nga ba ang affected?.ikaw o ako?.ikaw dhil feeling ko e nagreact ka.,o ako?dahil nagreact ako sa feeling kong reaction mo?.hindi un para sayo kung yun ang iniisip mo..ibang tao ang binabanggit ko dun,wag kang feeling..pero bka nmn concerned ka lng tlga..ok lng nmn.,concerned lang nmn pla eh..sana dati ka pa naging concerned sakin, e d sana natuwa tuwa pa ko dati..pero feeling ko lang naman na reaction mo un eh, hindi naman ako sure..pero kung reaction mo man un, ok lng din naman..pero affected ba ko?.oo, affected ako..khit anong deny pa ang gawin ko, affected ako..hindi ko rin alam kung bkit..pero affected ako...may dating ka pa rin sa buhay ko, shempre naman noh..ilang taon kitang minahal..take note,minahal..pero cguro nga nakamove on na ko dahil nagsawa na rin ako sa kakahintay sa tamang pagkakataon..nagsawa na rin siguro ako sa puro singit na pagkakataon..sa pakikipagkumpetensya sa taong mahal mo..sa pakikipaglaban sa kabila ng maling pakikipaglaban na hindi mo naman napapansin..mahirap magmahal ng tahimik, dadating din ang panahon na mapapagod ka,.mapapagod ka dahil pakiramdam mo hindi naman narerecognize ang effort mo..mas madalas masaktan..

oo, affected ako..affected pa rin ako sayo..hindi naman matatanggal un..pero hindi na tulad ng dati...salamat sa concern mo..naappreciate ko..

paalam mahal...