baby ria

Meet my daughter...
ALEKSANDRIA JEROME LOBRIGUITO ORZALES
born on October 9, 2010 at exactly 10:10 am through Caesarian section delivery
she weighs 6 lbs 15 oz at the time of delivery and has a length of 48 cm
she was born with the help of Dr. Camille Ann Abaya at Marikina Valley Medical Center
we call her Ria :)

two weeks of being a mother

I’ve been a mother for two weeks now and I have experienced so many changes. I said to myself that I have to adapt to these changes both for me and for my baby. Being a mother is not easy…you have to be logical at all times to know the needs of your newborn. As what my husband told me, our daughter’s only way to communicate is through crying so we have to know what she needs.

In two weeks, I have experienced sudden changes both physically and emotionally. I am currently battling the baby blues. The hormones must be very powerful to drive me into the state that I don’t want to be. Before I gave birth, I said to myself that I will not undergo nor experience baby blues. But then, days after I delivered our baby, I started to cry and think of unnecessary things that became the reason for my emotional instability. It’s really hard to fight when you are targeted in your weakest part. But I told myself that this will soon pass because sooner or later I’m going to be in perfect shape.

There are times when I am breastfeeding my baby, I just look at her and tell myself how angelic this baby is. It amazes me how she grew inside my body in a span of nine months. God is really amazing because he made the woman’s body a sanctuary of life. And even though I have to wake up every two hours just to feed my newborn, it’s okay. Being the only provider of the best nutrients is one of the most precious titles that mothers can get.

So in two weeks, I honestly experienced hardship in nursing my baby. Recovery takes time especially if you underwent Caesarian surgery. Added burden for me is the complication that was brought by my pregnancy…pre-eclampsia. I am still monitored for my blood pressure and I am limited in terms of physical activities since I need to recover both from the delivery and complication. But then, I need to be okay.

Being in the postpartum stage is hard since you need to recover physically and emotionally. Sometimes, I still can’t believe that I am already a mother. It’s surreal yet frightening. But when I look at my baby, I am motivated to recover the soonest possible time so I can attend to her needs. Now I understand that being a mother is really difficult. It takes a lot of dedication and love. And being a mother for only two weeks, I know that I will still experience so many things. This is just the beginning. And soon, I know that I will be able to master and adapt to the big change in my life called motherhood.

36 and 37 weeks

my last few weeks of being pregnant:

at 36 weeks, my feet started to swell...really swell.,and it's hard for me to walk coz my feet hurt so much...that's why every night i make sure that they are lifted to ease the pain..

at 37 weeks, went to the hospital for my check up.,weekly check up and monitoring starts..as of sept 23, cervix is still closed but there are now contractions...

still at 37 weeks, my feet are really swollen..sewn baby's bumper guard and my feet were really swollen that day (sept 24)

setp 25, i still don't know when i have to monitor my contractions..i can't feel them though my tummy feels so hard outside..hmmmm.,excited for baby.,her crib is now set with all the bumpers and pillows..i sewn baby's guard, stacker and organizer.. :) really personalized :)

waiting for baby...everything's set now..we're ready to welcome her to the world :)

7th month (30th week)

more or less 2 months na lang and baby will say hello to the world..last august 6, we had 3d4d ultrasound para icheck si baby.,we were so excited before going to the clinic..i though hindi matutuloy ang ultrasound (just to expect the worst)..but no,,we went to SM marikina (in my womb) to have the ultrasound.,the procedure lasted for about 30 minutes..baby ria smiled many times especially when me and dann tried to talk to her..she's so pretty khit sa 4d pa lang.,kuhang kuha sa daddy niya ang ilong at lips (i thought skn ang lips pero it turned out na kay dann nia nkuha)..gender lang ata ang nakuha skn ni baby..of course, tuwang tuwa si dann kasi kahit na baby girl si ria, nakuha naman sa knya ang ilong..i just hope na may makuha rin sya sakin..hehe..baby's a girl version of her dad..naexcite tuloy ako makita si baby..sana pati ung height sa daddy nia nakuha..

gising sya the whole time pero may times na nakatigil lang sya..then she'll smile..i sent the pictures to mommy and daddy..sabi nila kamuka raw tlga ni dann si baby..

she's like an angel here (pic above)..sana hindi sya pasaway pag labas at habang lumalaki sya..at sana super healthy nia..we want to give her the best..


ang mag-ama ko, parehas na parehas.,sana makuha ni baby ang brown eyes ng daddy niya..at sana khit dimples man lang mamana nia skn..pero kung wala man makuha skn,ok lng..basta she's healthy lagi, ok na un.,can't wait to see her.,pero sa october pa dapat.,hindi pa pwde ngyon kse kulang pa sa buwan..at hindi pa rin ako prepared manganak.. :)

one of the pics na nakabelat si baby..pero dito nakasimangot din sya..nakuha din nia sa daddy nia ang kunot sa noo..hehe..mataray ata si baby pag laki..tumataas ang kilay kht nsa loob pa..pero super nagssmile naman siya..wag naman nia sana mamana skn ung pagiging mairitahin..hehe..sana ang patience nia katulad ng sa tatay nia..super haba..

i love my baby..and i love my husband.. :)

waiting...

everyone's waiting for your arrival..gonna be 7 months this thursday.,more or less 3 months to go then you'll say hello to this world :)

excited, scared, mixed emotions...as October is approaching, i'm feeling more scared than excited..scared because of the pain..but then, when i think about you in my arms, my fear is washed away, immediately. i just tell myself that it'll just be for hours (and hopefully a fast delivery for me)..then we'll have you by our side..

i started washing your clothes..your dad will iron them..we'll fix your cabinet..i sew your crib essentials and your cloth diapers..i'm starting to look for the things that you'll need for your development..i'm reading you stories after my work..later on i'm going to sing you some lullabies..we're very busy preparing for your arrival..i just hope that when that big day comes, everything will be fine..including you.

at this point, every time you move, i feel your strength inside..i feel pain sometimes but that's fine..i know it's not your fault..you just want to exercise your body..every day, your dad talks to you and it seems that you can understand what he's saying..you respond to his i love you's, his questions..and every time you respond, your dad will smile or laugh..we're making sure you can hear us every day..

we finally have a name for baby :)

after searching for the best baby name, we finally have our baby's name.,she will be Aleksandria Jerome :)

Aleksandria-with a touch of ancient times..spelling was changed to make the name unique
Jerome-my bestfriend's name..we promised that if i'll have a baby girl, Jerome will be one of the first names and if ever he'll have a baby boy, he'll name it Joy :)

We'll call our baby as Ria... :)

Excited for October.,

..tears..

my joys are sometimes not enough to make me stay in this world
my tears are telling me so many things that only I can understand
i'm not enough, i know that
it's proven indeed

june 29, 2010

june 29, 2010

today, it's been 1 year since we had our first encounter. He noticed me during our contract signing but i didn't. This day last year changed my life forever :)

just another night

dear baby,

i love you..i hope you're ok.,i know you're ok.,your dad and i love you so much.,we want to give you everything that you need..you know what, every day your daddy sees to it that he has a bonding session with you.,every day un.,kakausapin ka nia from my tummy.,especially pag naramdaman niang malikot ka.,and every day, pagkagaling nia from work, lagi kang malikot.,daddy's girl :) and i'll see to it na pag gumagalaw ka, mararamdaman ka nia.,he loves you so much.,he wants to give you the best in everything..

excited na ko magoctober.,excited na kmi ng daddy mo.,gusto ka na nmin makasama.,pero for now, magiipon muna kmi para sayo.,sana mana ka sa daddy mo pagdating sa height at ilong., :)

a run down

...sharing my eternity with you...

sept 11, 2009

the day we admitted we love each other..i was not serious at first but my feelings got deeper and deeper. it was the day that my life changed. it was in that very day that my future was redirected. it was in that special day that a guy changed my views.

feb 16, 2010

i was crying so hard when he saw me. i was hesitant to tell him what happened, or what was happening. i just cried for few minutes more...tried to hide my fear. then when i told him i'm pregnant, we were both quiet for some time.

feb 19, 2010

i went to a laboratory to have an ultrasound. it was positive, i'm a month pregnant. all the things that had happened during the previous month came back to me. i was scared. i was drunk for how many times without knowing that i'm pregnant. it was funny because i was about to go to a drinking session with my friends when i thought of having a PT. it was too late, i have a baby, i was drunk many times, my life will change. we went to a mall to meet some friends, i told them i'm pregnant. it's hard for them to believe...it was also hard for me.

weeks after, i was thinking of letting him go. he has many dreams to achieve, i have my dreams too. i was thinking that time that it would be much easier for me to live my life with my baby, but without him. it's because i don't want to be a burden to him. i want him to achieve his dreams, to do his plans. i told myself that i will just ruin his beautiful life...but he said no.

i was trying to reassess my life before my next check up. i'm not yet ready. i'm too young to be a mother...young emotionally. i can't imagine myself being a mother. i still didn't achieve my dreams. i still have my plans. and all those plans will be washed away when my baby's born. i pondered for many weeks. i am not ready.

there were times when i just fell silent. i was thinking very deep on how to live my life. i started planning ahead, but it was a different plan. i don't want to have a baby at 25. i still want to start my career. i want to study further. i even thought that it's ok if i'll lose my baby. my family still doesn't know that i'm pregnant. that was one of the reasons why i wanted to let him go. so that whatever happens to me and my baby, we're not committed anymore. i'm not excited at all. then i realized that i'm so selfish.

march 19, 2010

i went to my OB-sonologist to have my 2nd ultrasound. this time, he's with me. it was confirmed for the nth time. my baby has a heartbeat. and my baby's like a gummy bear. arms and legs were starting to form. i saw the heart beating. that's when i realized this is something to be loved. i can't explain what i felt that time. i saw him smiling while looking at the monitor, looking at our child. our baby's so little. we're having a baby.


march 20, 2010

i asked my mom if she's busy. we went online and talked for minutes. then i told her i'm 2 months pregnant. she cried. i cried. she told it's ok. we cried for minutes. it made me realize that she wanted to be with me, that she has plans. but she told me, 'this time, my plan will be for three and not for two.' she told me to take care of myself and be healthy all the time. because what i'm doing will affect my baby too. i told her i'm sorry. she told me it's ok.

she told my dad about the news. my dad was silent for a day. my mom told me he'll be ok.

march 30, 2010

he told his family about the news. the wedding is on.

april and may 2010

i felt and saw the changes and developments inside my tummy. i realized there is really a life inside me that i should take care of. i felt that i just wanted to give my baby all the best things that i can give. i want my baby to be a good person. i love my baby.

june 4, 2010

after two months of preparation, we finally vowed for eternal love. thank God, the stress is over.



june 6, 2010

we had an ultrasound again. our baby's a girl. we started to shop for some stuff. i was excited to see my baby after few months.


june 20, 2010

last night's the second time that i saw some blood. i'm worried. i'm scared. what if my baby's not ok inside. maybe i overestimated my body. i thought i'm still ok. but now my baby's the one who's suffering. i cried last night. i don't want to lose my baby. i want to hug her when we welcome her to the world. i want to see her grow old. i want to hear her cry when she's hungry. all i want now is for her to be ok. i don't want to lose her. i want to see her on october. i want to take care of my baby. i want her to be ok...because i love her so much.

i know she's ok.

****
every day of my life, i'm thanking God for giving me my husband. i couldn't imagine how my life would be if i'm married to someone else. i'm thanking God for giving me the person who can tolerate me. the person who will let me see the beauty of life. the person who made me realize that in every rainstorm, there's always a rainbow with a pot of gold.

every night, i will look at him while he's deeply asleep. i will whisper to his ears how much i love him. he may not hear those words but i want to let him know that every minute of my life, i'm loving him with all my heart. i thank God for giving me that sept 11. he's my blessing in disguise.

i love him...and i always will.

somebody kicked so hard ^_^

may15,2010

i can say it's not the first time that i felt my baby kicked..i was experiencing it very often..but this night..my baby just kicked so hard that i felt it in my palm.,i was not hurt though..just the normal baby kick in early months..me and my husband waited for more or less an hour just for our baby to kick again..but sadly, he didn't feel it..after an hour or so, i told him we'll just have another session tomorrow :) then i told my baby to rest...

the baby's so alive when you start to feel the kick outside your tummy..i just hope that in few more months, the kick will not be that painful..

window-shopped

just last night, me and dann together with my eldest sister window-shopped for some baby stuff.,it feels so good looking at those cute stuffies in racks.,my sister told me what to buy and what not to buy.,she told me to buy this kind and not this kind.,i'm so excited to buy those stuff for my baby.,but not for now coz we don't know the gender yet.,but then, i can start buying unisex stuff like that of the bottles.,they're so cute!.maybe i'm so overwhelmed with the experience last night.,it's just so good to realize that my tummy's big and sooner or later, the baby will be out and he or she'll gonna use those cute stuff.,gonna start earning now for those stuff.,i love my baby.,i love my future family., :)
(and yesterday was our 8th monthsary)

at 16 weeks..

may 4, 2010...that's exactly a month before our wedding.,i'm at 16 weeks (nearly 17 weeks).,i finally felt my baby move.,week before that, i heard my baby's heartbeat..a mother or soon-to-be mother can't just describe the feeling when these things happen.,there is really a life inside your body and it just feels so good.,

..wondering.,

i'm just wondering what my baby is doing at this moment inside my tummy..i also ask myself if he/she is still alive..coz i don't feel any movement inside..maybe after few months, i'm going to feel my baby moving..i hope my baby's ok., :)

declutter

just some random thoughts after a tiring day:

just finished decluttering my closet..i just realized i have so many dresses that i can wear at this stage.,thanks to my mom and dad for buying those clothes for me in the past.,now i can definitely wear them especially if my tummy gets bigger after few months..

while taking my rest after that very haggard activity, i just realized there's no permanent and constant thing in this world..because the only constant thing is change..we can't avoid those changes, and the worst part is, sometimes we don't realize that everything is changing..we thought that everyday is just like every single day in our life..but once we looked back, we will see that everything has changed..and we can't undo those changes anymore..and sometimes there are no second chances..maybe after few years, the things that i have now and the thoughts and ideals that i have in my mind will change..i don't know if those will be for the better or not..

also, sometimes it is best if you don't know the truth...so that you will not be hurt..some people will say that the truth will set you free..yeah, i agree..coz you will just live your life with what-ifs and what-could-have-been's. .that is if you know something but you don't have any chance to confirm it (or you just don't want to confirm it)..but sometimes, you choose to live your life with lies just because you don't want to be hurt..you pretend to be ok even if you know that everything's not fine...you tend to avoid the things or the truths that will hurt you..because sometimes it is hard to tell if someone is really telling you the whole truth..if someone is being true to you..or someone is just acting the way he/she is acting so that you will not be hurt..this thought is from the idea that if you came from a very destructive relationship, you will question everything and it will be so hard for you to believe everything..

that's why in life, you also have to declutter...so that you will not be hurt.

..three months now..

just few days ago, i noticed my tummy got bigger (suddenly)..my baby's bigger now at three months..i can't wear my pants anymore, i just have to wear clothes that are not so fit so that my baby will not be hurt inside..

until now, i still don't know the gender of my baby. my doctor said that i can have my ultrasound on my 5th month. so excited to know if my baby is a girl or a boy. :) whatever the gender is, it doesn't matter. i'll still love him or her the same way.

i wonder how big my tummy will be on my wedding day..that'll be more or less 2 months now..hope the dress will fit :)

by the way, the ultrasound was taken during my 2nd month..my baby's like a gummy bear already. by this month, the arms and legs should be longer..i'm excited to see my little one..approximately that'll be after 6months from now. can't wait

..flash of thoughts..

everytime i reminisce the day we went to the lab to have baby's ultrasound, i can still feel that very special moment when i saw my baby's heart beating :)

suddenly, it came to my mind that this is the real thing already. Me, my baby, and my baby's daddy. We're going to be a family now.

:)

..bedrest..

as of last night, i was advised that i should rest...bed rest.,i'll go to my OB tomorrow to check if there's something wrong with my baby..and i just hope nothing's wrong.,coz i don't wanna lose him/her..i don't wanna lose my baby..but then, we're taking measures already so that my baby will stay..i just hope my baby's fine..

and now, i'll still go to the hospital to submit urine sample for my urinalysis..

being pregnant is fun but women are very fragile during this stage.,i'm not used to it.

..some blues..

have you ever thought maybe we're not meant to be?.that maybe we're just overwhelmed with what's happening to us and around us?.do you sometimes feel that no one likes to see us together?.do you feel that we're not really meant to be?.that this is just a stage in our life that we have to face and sooner or later we're going to part ways and follow our own paths?.

i feel them,,just today..all the negative energies and stuff.not because i don't love you but because i really do care for you a lot that i want you to be happy..really happy.,and sometimes i think that you'll never be happy with me.,i think you'll be more happy with someone else..

but then,i don't want you to go..i just want you to stay..just stay beside me.

but there are still things that are bothering me..

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hindi ko alam kung paano ko haharapin to.,sa bawat minuto na wala akong ginagawa, lahat ng iniisip ko related dito. oo, hindi ako handa at aminado ako dun pero wala naman na akong magagawa eh. ngayon nangyari kaya kelangan kong harapin. hindi nangyari dati kaya palagay ko ngayon ang panahon kahit naguguluhan ako. sa dami ng iniisip ko, lahat yun para sa kanya. lahat yun para maging ok siya. kasi ayokong dumating ang panahon na magffail ako dito. alam ko magiging handa rin ako after ilang buwan. alam ko yun.